My Heart Cries out for the Breath of Heaven

My heart cries out today, for me, for you and for our children and grandchildren.

I find myself doing it all over again. Looking to something or someone to do what only the Lord my God can do for me and in me and in my family.

I see that I still want my own timetable for healing and relief and that peace that only comes from the Lord. In my mind, I can fix it. As the firstborn daughter that was part of my job description for so long, fixer/caretaker of the family. When the fixer got weary, things needed to change, I needed to pull back; I need to pull back even now. No fixer or caretaker lives forever. Sometimes as with the case with my mama, the Lord seemed to have taken her early, perhaps to spare her from some acute pain, both physically and emotionally in her life. The Bible even has a verse that says He takes those early to spare them. It is His mercy yet we at home still grieve the loss of her love, her humor and her hearty laugh.

I repent once again Jesus. I repent of wanting a counselor to fix my family. I repent of looking to the world for what only You can do. I repent of getting weary in praying and wondering if You hear me? Do You see me still? Will You send an angel as You sent to Hagar; she named You the “God who sees.” See me, Jesus; see my hopes, dreams and aspirations. See my children that I love and have failed in so many ways, but yet I am blessed to have had the privilege to bring them forth for You and give them back to You. Thank you for each one and for some wonderful grandchildren. As I look to this day, knowing I have given it over to Your hands, I pray that Your Holy Spirit will rise up strong in me, that I can face the day, future and even the dreaded hour, that I can get through anything by Your strength and power. The old song, “Where Can we go, but to the Lord” has been in my heart since I was a young girl and knew I needed a savior so much. One thing I have always known is You are the one who holds the words of life, the only one I can constantly go to, my source of peace. You are the One who holds me. You will get all glory and praise. You are my heart’s desire. Live through me this day.

The lyrics to this song can apply to others than Mary, “Breath of Heaven”

I am waiting in a silent prayer

 I am frightened by the load I bear

 In a world as cold as stone

 Must I walk this path alone?

 Be with me now, be with me now

Breath of Heaven, hold me together

 Be forever near me, breath of Heaven

 Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness

 Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy

 Breath of Heaven

(Read more: Amy Grant - Breath Of Heaven Lyrics | MetroLyrics)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW2OBT-5qfc