My thoughts on the Netflix series, MAID, and Domestic Violence Month
The Netflix series, MAID, is a must-see for everyone in my opinion, especially those who work in Social Work and law enforcement.
Having had multiple experiences as a child with domestic violence I know it can leave scars on a child that stays in their heart forever. There are pictures in their mind perhaps of their mother being beat or emotionally tortured and the child sometimes feels guilty for not being able to protect their loved one.
A personal experience I had when I was about nine-years-old was the pain I felt when I found out that I slept through my mom being beat in the head with a gun by one of my stepfathers. I vowed I would never let him get away with hurting her again. The next time I heard her screams I ran out the door screaming, “Call the police!” only to find out the one time I was brave, it was a false alarm. Those screams were the result of the news that her mother had died.
My mom went on to marry another man with issues but she learned to fight back. Most of his problems came from being an alcoholic, but thankfully, in their later years, he quit drinking and there was peace in their home before they died. But my mom’s choices of men showed a pattern and also the low self-esteem that many women carry once they have been abused.
Sometimes law enforcement who haven’t been trained about domestic violence victims can make the victim feel violated all over again. Statistics say that the average woman forgives or goes back to the abuser on the average of seven times before they get true help. The recent case with Brian Laundrie a person of interest in the killing of Gabby Petito, where there was video of Gabby looking very scared, but not filing charges comes to my mind. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a trained domestic violence worker sent out on these calls?
Recently a family member decided to get a restraining order. There was a lot of paperwork to fill out and then she still had no chance of getting help on the day she filed.
From an online site it says you need to prepare a petition for a temporary injunction and file it to the appropriate civil court. Within 15 days, there will be a hearing, and a judge will decide whether to grant your request for a permanent injunction against your abuser. Yet the 15 days or so that you may have to wait to get to court can be days of anxiety and torture as you wonder if you will be stalked or hurt while waiting.
The court will look at a variety of factors when determining “imminent danger”:[3]
the history between you and the abuser, including threats, stalking, physical abuse, and harassment
if any attempt has been made to harm you or your family members
if you have been threatened to have your children harmed or kidnapped
if the abuser has intentionally injured or killed a family pet
If the abuser has used or threatened to use any weapons against you
if the abuser has restrained you from calling the police or leaving your home
if the abuser has a criminal history involving violence or threats of violence
if there is any prior order of protection entered against the abuser
if the abuser has destroyed your personal property
any other action that would lead you to reasonably believe that you are in immediate danger of domestic violence
When you have a family member facing this type of issues, sometimes you can only pray. This week I felt led to write a prayer request on the local PRAYERLINE that my loved one would have God’s favor and protection. Yesterday I found out the person she is trying to get a restraining order against was arrested for aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. Thank the good Lord that this assault was not upon my loved one. My hope is that he will get time for the charge he is in jail for and be far removed from our lives.
I’m glad the series MAID is not only helping victims to learn that they are not alone, but also educating the community about domestic violence. Things are not always what they seem. Sometimes that second chance for protection doesn’t come in time.
