Linda D, Schoonover is a
woman on a mission to bring to light the affects mental illness can have on a
family and especially children in her book, An Illusion of Normal.
I'm drawn to this
story as at the beginning it's through the eyes of a child. Oh the pain that
some children have to endure on this earth as emotions and chaos reign because
of mental illness. It looked like at first, Linda might have an escape route
via being sent to her grandmother's house for a season.
I love how the little
girl watches her grandmother in all aspects of life. She wonders why she prays
certain ways and is very vocal about the only way she's heard God's name used
previously. The conversation in Chapter Seven between Linda and her grandmother
was priceless. Chapter Eight wrenched my heart as sometimes, I've found the
familiar home of a grandparent feels like balm to a child's heart.
What a powerful ending
for Chapter Nine:
"God, please help
me not be scared. I don’t know what’s wrong with my mother and I don’t know for
sure if anyone is outside my window, but if you’re there, could you please help
me?
I shut my eyes and tried
to ignore my mother waiting quietly in the dark for her killer’s return."
In Chapter Ten the
phrase,
"A knot set up camp in my stomach. The
Ferris wheel stopped at the top and I hung on the mercy of someone I couldn’t
trust." blew me away. Linda is a master communicator.
Chapter Fourteen is priceless. Only a child could
have precious, untarnished faith to believe for that miracle
and it was totally mind-blowing.
One of the most poignant parts of the book was
in Chapter Twenty-five:
I laid on
the wet grass and closed my eyes.
“Did you make a mistake, God? If you did, it’s
okay. I just want to know. I won’t be mad, I promise. But God, could you please
find me another place to live? Anywhere is okay, so long as it’s a place where
people really want me.”
Later her brother gave
us a glimpse into a different side of the dad than portrayed earlier in the
book. I loved reading the description of an earlier part of life that perhaps
Linda didn't know about until her brother described it to her.
When talking about
her grandmother after she died: "A few days after we buried her in
the family plot next to Grampy, something sprang up from inside me, like a seed
when it slowly and confidently breaks through the dirt. I wanted to be like
her. Strong, caring, hardworking. I wanted to love God like she did. To take
care of and rescue people caught in disasters, not necessarily of their own
choosing. To cook and serve Sunday dinners in a house where everybody felt
welcome and at home. I wanted to be a grandmother like her, a grandmother that
changed lives. But more than anything, I wanted her to be proud of the person
she always knew I was and would be." I know that Linda has made her
grandmother proud.
I enjoyed the letters
from Linda's brother and the overview about Viet Nam as she got older. Drama
seemed to follow her and her family though.
The life-long effect of
childhood trauma that Linda described in the epilogue was among my
favorite parts of the book. I'm proud of the work Linda is doing to help
children and bring us knowledge about mental illness in the family. Normal, at
last, has become more than an illusion for her.
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