My book review of Hope Lies Ahead: Encouragement for Parents of Prodigals from a Family That's Been There
by James Banks (Author),
Geoffrey Banks (Author)
Hope
Lies Ahead: Encouragement for Parents of Prodigals from a Family That's Been
There is unique in that it is written by both the dad, James, and the son,
Geoffrey. The opening chapter starts with a story of Geoff’s birth and it
renews my thoughts that there has never been a woman on earth who, when thinking
about that child in her womb, would think that one day that child would be an
addict.
James writes, “Never in our worst nightmares would we have
thought that this winsome, bright little guy would one day be a prodigal. Yet
that is indeed what happened. When we think back over our son’s life, we
realize that one of the hardest things about being the parent of a prodigal is
the nagging thought that I should have done something differently. Even though
our children make their own choices--- possibly choices that we ourselves never
would have made at their age, still we wonder, Couldn’t I have changed the
circumstances under which those choices happened? We replay the past in our
heads and look at that friend, or that school, or any other number of
contributing factors and think, If I had only known, we never would have
gone there.”
Geoffrey writes, “It’s easy to look at an ideal situation like
mine and wonder why I would do what I did---why I would take the gifts God gave
me and exchange them for drugs and crime. How could I make such a s decision? Did I want to hurt the people I
loved, or did I not just care? The truth is, I never wanted to hurt anyone or
disappoint a soul, but somehow I did exactly that.”
There’s an old saying, “One drink is
too many and a thousand never enough.” I think that goes for drugs, also, I’m
told. It seems the afflicted one doesn’t feel comfortable in their body unless
they have something to take the edge off or make them feel bolder and more
excited, or even I’ve been told, normal. But how can you maintain that degree
of excitement in your body for long? Geoff takes us on the journey and it truly
is painful, not only to him but to his parents and other family members. I
liked how Geoff brought out that you need hobbies and friends to replace the
bad behaviors. Some of the stories in the book were very poignant especially
the one about the little girl’s question towards the end of the book.
I also believe it brought out that
recovery takes time and there is no set “way” for anyone.
The only thing that I would’ve loved
as an addition would’ve been to hear from the Mom’s point of view. As a mom,
myself, I know how a mom prays, grieves and hopes to the highest degree for her
child.
I loved some of the chapter titles: OF
PRODIGAL PATHS AND CLENCHED FISTS, YOU DON’T GET A CASSEROLE, and especially,
BRING THE BOY TO ME. When you get down
to it, that is really all a parent can do: bring the child to the Lord.
At the end of the book there was a
prayer from James’ other book, PRAYERS FOR PRODIGALS. The excerpt was titled,
For Freedom From Substance Abuse and it was so very beautiful. I’m going to
have to read that book now, as prayer really is the best and most concrete
thing we can do for our loved ones. I believe prayer is a working tool towards
family recovery and this family knows it well. I feel this book shows, the
good, the bad and the ugly and yet the HOPE THAT CAN LIE AHEAD.
Great job, guys! Write on!
Donna Collins Tinsley
