HOPE REALLY DOES LIE AHEAD!

 My book review of Hope Lies Ahead: Encouragement for Parents of Prodigals from a Family That's Been There

by James Banks (Author), Geoffrey Banks (Author)

 

Hope Lies Ahead: Encouragement for Parents of Prodigals from a Family That's Been There is unique in that it is written by both the dad, James, and the son, Geoffrey. The opening chapter starts with a story of Geoff’s birth and it renews my thoughts that there has never been a woman on earth who, when thinking about that child in her womb, would think that one day that child would be an addict.

James writes, “Never in our worst nightmares would we have thought that this winsome, bright little guy would one day be a prodigal. Yet that is indeed what happened. When we think back over our son’s life, we realize that one of the hardest things about being the parent of a prodigal is the nagging thought that I should have done something differently. Even though our children make their own choices--- possibly choices that we ourselves never would have made at their age, still we wonder, Couldn’t I have changed the circumstances under which those choices happened? We replay the past in our heads and look at that friend, or that school, or any other number of contributing factors and think, If I had only known, we never would have gone there.”

 

Geoffrey writes, “It’s easy to look at an ideal situation like mine and wonder why I would do what I did---why I would take the gifts God gave me and exchange them for drugs and crime. How could I make such a s decision? Did I want to hurt the people I loved, or did I not just care? The truth is, I never wanted to hurt anyone or disappoint a soul, but somehow I did exactly that.”

There’s an old saying, “One drink is too many and a thousand never enough.” I think that goes for drugs, also, I’m told. It seems the afflicted one doesn’t feel comfortable in their body unless they have something to take the edge off or make them feel bolder and more excited, or even I’ve been told, normal. But how can you maintain that degree of excitement in your body for long? Geoff takes us on the journey and it truly is painful, not only to him but to his parents and other family members. I liked how Geoff brought out that you need hobbies and friends to replace the bad behaviors. Some of the stories in the book were very poignant especially the one about the little girl’s question towards the end of the book.

I also believe it brought out that recovery takes time and there is no set “way” for anyone.

The only thing that I would’ve loved as an addition would’ve been to hear from the Mom’s point of view. As a mom, myself, I know how a mom prays, grieves and hopes to the highest degree for her child.

I loved some of the chapter titles: OF PRODIGAL PATHS AND CLENCHED FISTS, YOU DON’T GET A CASSEROLE, and especially, BRING THE BOY TO ME.  When you get down to it, that is really all a parent can do: bring the child to the Lord.

At the end of the book there was a prayer from James’ other book, PRAYERS FOR PRODIGALS. The excerpt was titled, For Freedom From Substance Abuse and it was so very beautiful. I’m going to have to read that book now, as prayer really is the best and most concrete thing we can do for our loved ones. I believe prayer is a working tool towards family recovery and this family knows it well. I feel this book shows, the good, the bad and the ugly and yet the HOPE THAT CAN LIE AHEAD.

Great job, guys! Write on!

Donna Collins Tinsley