My review of ...Or For Worse: Loving Your Husband Through Hard Times

 

...Or For Worse: Loving Your Husband Through Hard Times, by Emma Chambers

This is a long overdue review of a book that will make you think differently about your marriage and how you and your spouse interact together.

The second part of the title, Loving Your Husband Through Hard Times is something many wives will relate to.  If you’re married, the honeymoon stage normally doesn’t last forever.

This book although using a pseudonym is written by a Christian woman who knows the Bible well and uses it to get through the days, the years and even the next moments that may seem intolerable. A key quote, “Giving our marriage to God isn’t a one-time done deal; it’s something I have to do over and over.”

She has great sub-titles for chapters such as:
The Vow to Change Him

Entering Marriage With Wounds

Embracing God’s Love List

And God Can Resurrect Compassion.

Emma gives a course within a book on how to deal with an unhappy marriage and how to keep hope in a God who can restore. She used I Corinthians 13 as a guide to learn how to love her husband as God would have her to love him. She owns up to her own failings and sincerely shows a different way to love. Thanks, Emma for telling it like it is and showing us how we all may need to change along the way.

You can find this book on Amazon. https://www.amazon.ca/Worse-Loving-Husband-Through-Times/dp/0692163190/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

On Thursday we focus on families in recovery.

 "I believe in Christianity as I believe that the Sun has risen, not only because I can see it, but because by it I see everything else." C.S. Lewis

They say, "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" and that first step may look impossible, but go ahead. Take that first step, do the next right thing and each step will get easier. I’m not saying it will not be without pain and discomfort and you may have to leave some activities and people behind. Down the road you will see it was worth it.

Remember, YOU ARE WORTH IT! Someone can't save themselves today, but it's Thursday and a great day for recovery in the state of Florida. Call in or ZOOM into a meeting, spread some love and hope and work your program! You can't save yourself, but Jesus can and a recovery program can make life easier to live.

Asking special prayers for Steven Scheffler who was bit by five pit bull dogs and is undergoing treatment. Also praying for the many who are sick among us.

Replaying our theme song for the words and message. Many thanks again to Steven Scheffler for doing what I could not, with my words. His production is awesome and he is a blessing to so many people with his gift of music. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEzbIrTF5KE

(112) Restore Them To You - YouTube

THE BLOG I HOPE YOU DON’T RELATE TO/WHY A DAUGHTER NEEDS A DAD

 THE BLOG I HOPE YOU DON’T RELATE TO

I was browsing my Amazon account of books and came across this suggested one. Wow! Right before Father’s Day, it hits again. Father-hunger is what I call it. Maybe you grew up with a loving and kind father and this certainly won’t apply to you. You won’t relate to the eyes that tear up when you read the review, especially the poem.

“From the first time I held you, so perfect and new,

I promised to do everything that I could do

To help you become your most wonderful YOU,

My darling, my daughter, my girl.” (From WHY A DAUGHTER NEEDS A DAD)

Be still my heart! Are there really dads that say those things, think those things, DO those things for their daughters? Yes, I’m sure there are. My husband, Bill, has been a very good father, perhaps not poetic, but I know he’s tried to be a good dad. Maybe not perfect, but it’s not for lack of trying.

It’s hard for a generation who really didn’t have a godly father to look up to, to do it cold turkey. Mentors were scarce and some who were loved dearly fell off their pedestals in the course of leading others.

But back to my own Father-hunger. You’d think that a 70-year-old woman would have it together by now. Most of my young life was lived with the thought, ”Who needs a dad?” I could count on the fingers of one hand the men I trusted and still have some fingers left over. That’s a sad statement and I say it to my shame, but it really was my reality.

BUT FOR JESUS!

That Father-hunger was so real that it drew me to the altar at Flintstone Baptist Church in Chattanooga Valley as a young girl. I found my REAL FATHER there.

I’ve blogged before about something I call father hunger and the affect that can have on a young girl, especially. In looking over those blogs, I see that I still relate to those words. Sometimes I can go months or even years without the deep, soul-wrenching father hunger because of not growing up with my dad and then something will strike my heart. Hearing about someone whose memories were of laying upon their father’s chest as a child, remembering the feel of his scratchy beard, or a father admitting that he failed in the fathering department can bring me to tears. Because he knows he can’t go back and change the past concerning his lack in parenting, he decides instead to be the very best grandfather he can be. That’s an awesome thing to me.

As Father’s Day approaches, we know that although many of us did not have that true “father” experience while here on earth, the time in eternity together with the One True Father, Who Never Disappoints, will be a dream come true. And there will be no more father hunger for any of us who have experienced that pain.

It looks like this book is sold out right now. I don’t have to wonder why.

WHY A DAUGHTER NEEDS A DAD

A sweet picture book showcasing all the ways a father will help his daughter grow, this is the gift for every girl dad and little girl to celebrate their special bond. Featuring charming animal illustrations and heartwarming rhymes about the moments fathers and daughters share, Why a Daughter Needs a Dad is the perfect story to connect father and daughter together.

From the first time I held you, so perfect and new,

I promised to do everything that I could do

To help you become your most wonderful YOU,

My darling, my daughter, my girl.

For new dads, fathers-to-be, or for that perfect father-daughter moment, this sweet storybook celebrates how a father is always there for his little girl. reminding her to be artistic, thoughtful, honest, and smart, but most of all, true to herself.

https://www.amazon.com/.../ref=pd.../143-0342084-0972978...

2Regina Lee and Sandi Barthels Parish

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PRAYING FOR UNSPOKEN REQUESTS, TODAY

Quote of the day from Ann Voscamp: “No matter what they’re saying, everyone’s asking ‘Can you love me?’”

We pray on Friday, for the unspoken prayer requests among us. The deep longings, the things we only speak to God, because we know, He alone, understands and can help us.

From the book, Prayers for Prodigals by James Banks, are some beautiful quotes: “God shapes the world by prayer. Prayers are deathless. The lips that uttered them may be closed in death, the heart that felt them may have ceased to beat, but the prayers live before God, and God’s heart is set on them. Prayers outlive the lives of those who uttered them; outlive a generation, outlive an age, outlive a world.” E.M. Bounds

“Your prayers, dear child of God…shall be answered---some of them perhaps, during your lifetime on earth, all of them, certainly, during your lifetime in heaven.” Samuel Prime

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37wV6D49iEY&list=RDyYHT-TF4KO4&index=15

 “‘In that day,’ declares the LORD Almighty,

    ‘I will break the yoke off their necks

and will tear off their bonds;

    no longer will foreigners enslave them.

 Instead, they will serve the LORD their God…

“‘So do not be afraid, … my servant;

    do not be dismayed, Israel,’

declares the LORD.

‘I will surely save you out of a distant place,

    your descendants from the land of their exile.

Your children (Jacob) will again have peace and security,

    and no one will make them (him) afraid.

I am with you and will save you,’

    declares the LORD.”

Look up! I’ll save you out of faraway places,

    I’ll bring your children back from exile. (The Message)

Try At Lighthouse Point (Three Sisters Island) by Suzanne Woods Fisher for a great summer fiction vacation.

 

At Lighthouse Point (Three Sisters Island) by Suzanne Woods Fisher will keep your interest and is a great summer fiction vacation.

I didn’t read the other books in this series and will have to look them up. The family dynamics in the book remind me of the Baxter family stories by Karen Kingsbury. And yes, each family member in this story sure seems to see life differently and sometimes have a time communicating with each other. The dynamics of relationships between sisters is portrayed very well.

Family drama and disputes remind me of home, sometimes, but yet it was good to see some resolutions and family coming together at the end.

The island life seemed like a good place to get away from the real world. The possible romance kept you holding your breath and even older people had a chance to fall in love in this book.

 

 Although I received this book free of charge from Revell Reads in exchange for my honest review; I’d be happy to read any other books by this author.

DO WHAT YOU CAN LIVE WITH SHOULD BE AN AL-ANON SLOGAN!

 

From Linda Clare’s book, PRAYERS FOR PARENTS of PRODIGALS, this one prayer is worth the price of the book, and I think of it often. It helps me be more compassionate. “Help me remember, that you accept me just as I am and that, even if my prodigal is far away, squandering her life, you don’t reject her either. TO YOU, MY CHILD IS MUCH MORE THAN THE LAST BAD THING THEY DID.”

 

How many of us want to be remembered for the last bad thing we did? Or that horrible thing we did, years ago, that comes back to haunt us, when the enemy taunts us? We all have pasts and we all have regrets, I’d venture. Help me to not focus on the negative but on ANY small, positive thing I see.

 

Help me to see that everyone hurts. Some people because of OCD or anxiety overthink and have a hard time letting go of hurts done to them. It might seem minor or logical to me, but to them, as they dwell too long, it gets bigger and feels unforgiveable. As humans we just do the best we can, or as I like to say, try just to do the next best thing.

 

The other quote I feel especially for mothers is one I’m borrowing from a wise man in Al-anon. It’s not a slogan but I feel it should be. “DO WHAT YOU CAN LIVE WITH.” (John H.) That has gotten me through many a hard decision. Life continues to be hard on some levels and what I can live with willingly and kindly on some days I can’t on others. But that’s okay. I know the Lord can do in a minute what would take me years on my own. He is the God of the impossible. As in Luke 1:37 “Nothing is impossible with God.” The Passion Translation reads this way: “Not one promise from God is empty of power. Nothing is impossible with God!” He can tenderize the most hard-hearted person and make a complete change that is unbelievable, perhaps even unconceivable yet not for our God. I await that day.  

 

 

 

KEEPING BAILEY, A Forever Home novel by Dan Walsh; all dogs need a forever home!

 

KEEPING BAILEY, A Forever Home novel by Dan Walsh

 

From the sweet picture on the cover to the last word in the book, Keeping Bailey by one of my favorite authors, Dan Walsh, does not disappoint. Well, maybe I would’ve loved another few chapters, but this series is one of my favorites.

 

At a time in my life when I find myself a senior citizen I can really relate to the story in this book. I also love how Dan lets you get into the dog’s head and point of view. Bailey’s grin, which was described, as maybe a grin or maybe not, was cute.  I’ve never given much thought to the plight of older dogs before and it can be very sad.

 

It's true, all dogs need a forever home.

 

As always, Dan delivers a happy and poignant ending which I won’t give away. I’ll just say, “Buy the book!”

Restore Them to You

 Thursdays we focus on recovery and small groups, praying that each one would find one that will help them on their journey. Churches, Celebrate Recovery, Al-Anon and AA, NA groups; any gathering or ZOOM meeting that keeps people from isolating in their pain becomes a source of healing. It's a great day for recovery in the State of FL.

This is a song, a friend of mine< Stephen Scheffler, sang and produced from a poem I wrote many years ago. I've been in this battle with one family member or another for over 30 years. May you all have a glorious day, a song and a prayer that Jesus will keep you in His care:

Our theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEzbIrTF5KE&t=132s

Feeling overwhelmed? God has got it covered. Call; his line is never busy and He won't put you on hold: Jeremiah 33:3 (AMP) "You can't do it on your own. Call to Me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things, fenced in and hidden, which you do not know (do not distinguish and recognize, have knowledge of and understand)."

“Spend time with those you love. One of these days you will either say, I wish I had or I’m glad I did.” Zig Ziglar

From "It's Your Time:"

"God always has the final say. He is a God of justice. God sees every wrong that's ever been done to you. He see every unfair situation. He says if you will stay in faith, if you'll keep your hopes, He will make your wrongs right. He will bring justice into your life.

Your attitude should be, It may have been unfair. They may have done me wrong. But I refuse to get bitter. I know my time is coming." Joel Osteen

Taking that first step towards wholeness can be hard for some.

From TRAUMA AND THE 12 STEPS we read: “Many individuals who have recovered from addictions contend that having structure was an absolutely critical element in making this change happen.” This goes along with the idea of making a new life.

The Apostle Paul, A Do-Over and a Letter to Somebody’s Mother on the NATIONAL DAY OF PRAYER

The Apostle Paul, A Do-Over and a Letter to Somebody’s Mother

Today in honor of National Day of Prayer, I scanned through our member’s pictures, praying for each one. You are covered today with love, asking the Lord that Thy will be done in your lives and the lives of those we love. We are a beautiful, sometimes motley, crew. I say that with the same I love use describing some of my own family pictures.

There are a few brave men among us, but mostly we are just mothers praying, loving, and living as best as we can for the Lord. We stand on His Word, always. We try to love as He does; sometimes it isn’t always relayed as that. I was thinking of the Apostle Paul this morning and how when he had blinders on, before the Lord truly blinded him on the road to Damascus, he thought he was doing the right thing, by murdering Christians. No one could tell him different. He was doing justice in his own eyes. He was living his life in a way that he thought was the plan of God when the Lord’s plan was different. It was a way to make a Romans 8:28 life, a life where all things work together for good.

“ Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples. He went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

“Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.

“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied.  “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.” Acts 9:1-6  (NIV)

When Saul (Paul) was blinded he didn’t know if he would ever get his sight back, he was at the mercy of the Lord and all those who would guide him where he needed to go. He had no idea that his path would soon be to proclaim Jesus, every day in every way. He had no idea that Christians down the centuries would read his writings and be encouraged. Only the Holy Spirit can open eyes the way that Paul’s eyes needed to be opened.

Many of us have blind spots. We pray that the Holy Spirit open our eyes and the eyes of our loved ones. Then the true power will come and chains will be broken and families healed. Yes, it is true that the Lord creates families in many different ways, some by birth, some by blood and some by adoption. He is the one who places us. I wanted a daddy like on “Father Knows Best” or “Little House on the Prairie.” That didn’t happen. I am grateful the Lord chose to adopt me, as I never really felt a father’s love. I melt into my true Father’s arms of love, not being able to get close enough, stay long enough or sing loud enough about that love.

I know that for many people it was hard to trust Paul and that he had changed. Don’t you know that he had a past to live down a past that in his mind, I’m sure many times, he would ponder? He may have said, “Oh Lord, how could I have watched them stone dear Stephen, Your beloved child, and think that was a good thing?”

“Lord, I have killed families of people who loved you!”

“Lord, I wish that I hadn’t done those things. I wish I hadn’t lived that way for so long. I wish I could do it over!”

Later on we read that Paul was a chosen vessel to bear the Lord’s name. And perhaps his thorn in the flesh was bearing the pain of the things he had done in his past. I hope that he was able to accept that the Lord looks at the heart. That is the only way I can get over regrets is thinking that if someone could just look into my heart, they would know that I would never intentionally hurt anyone.

Many of us live with regrets; acceptance is the only thing that will get us through the day. The Lord knew our futures when we were walking in our past. He knew the plans He had for us for hope. He knew He loved us. He has a plan. Sometimes I admit, I don’t like His plan because it has been painful. I want to wave a magic wand and make everyone well, happy and whole. Life doesn’t work that way, dear ones. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, it is for sure, as my Mama would say. Think Corrie ten Boom, (“There is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still”) think Joni Eareckson Tada, think Joan of Arc, (“Hold the cross high so I may see it through the flames!”) think perhaps even yourself, a survivor finding your way on this journey. Maybe you are like me, and wish you had done something better as a mother, wishing you could be like the perfect ones you see around you. I always come back to this:

All our stories will not be the same; they don’t all end “happily ever after.” What does that woman do, when all the Christian books end with a happy ending, and her life seems full of pain? Where is the comfort for that daughter of God?   

 What do you do when everything you dreamed for your family seems to fall apart? What do you do when your heart keeps getting broken, yet you want to glorify the Lord in your circumstances? Even though there are some good things in your life, emotional pain and trauma seems to follow you. It sometimes is all you can do to literally place one foot in front of the other and do the next thing.

The refreshing that you long for in the Lord just does not come. And the breaking seems to come faster without much relief in between. You sometimes wonder if you will have the strength to go on. Not everyone will get their “happy ending” perhaps in the way they dreamed it. But life can still be good and we can still look for good regardless of our circumstances. I started off this blog as I surveyed the pictures of our prayer group, thinking how different each person is, but they are loved.

Some have lost children, husbands, parents, some have children in prison, some are living with addictions, and some are just fellow sojourners bonded by prayer. Remember today, if you don’t remember anything else from this blog that Jesus is our answer for everything. And together we are strong.

Keep praying and keep loving.

I encourage you to read Acts, especially chapter nine where some of these verses are found.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/119408188089314/

Donna Collins Tinsley

 

You will love Prayers for Parents of Prodigals by Linda Clare!

I read a post on Facebook by Linda Clare and knew I must have her book, Prayers for Parents of Prodigals. It was as simple as that. A woman who had that much wisdom was surely a woman who could write a book that I wanted to read. I instantly connected with her and with this book of prayers.

I have many similar books, but I feel so many of the same feelings as Linda had, as I read prayers with headings such as:

Broken Heart, Broken Parent

Through the Valley

Promises, Promises

Baby Steps

Shine Bright

Love You Forever…and more.

I read a few every morning and now already am on my second time of reading this book. I have several prayer and devotional books that I use every day and I can foresee this book as being one of those.

For some reason I thought that this book was written many years ago and I just missed it, but seeing it was released during the pandemic, I’m sure it didn’t get the publicity it deserved. I’m a big fan, now, of Linda Clare. You will be, too!

Donna Collins Tinsley