Monday, June 27, 2011

When Someone You Love No Longer Remembers

Cecil Murphey has written a beautiful book for family and caretakers of those with dementia and Alzheimer’s Disease. It truly is a gift book that you will want to put into anyone’s hands that may be facing these situations.
Beautifully illustrated by Michal Sparks, the artwork was amazing and I could picture it as a book to leave out at condos.

You can use this book as a daily devotional as I had started to do or just pick it up and read it whenever needed. After starting it, the stories gripped me and I wanted to devour the book and find the words of comfort and get them inside me.

As someone who has known several family members and friends diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease, I so wish this book had been written sooner.

Knowing the genetics link that is in my family can be a scary thing and I hope that the good ideas, hope and healing of the words will bring comfort to many people.

The Appendix, with helps like Take Care of Yourself, Communicating with Your Loved One, Expecting the Unexpected, and Help Your Visitors was a wealth of information that we all need.

I think you should do a sequel, Cecil, as there are a lot more stories out there, and perhaps do it as a daily devotional. Every family needs a copy of this gift book!

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Not A Hero

We all want a Hero at times at times yet only Jesus can truly rescue, heal, restore and change our lives. An old poem revisited::
Not A Hero
I don’t want to be your hero.
I don’t want to rescue you.
I can’t take the place Of God in your life,
I can’t keep you from feeling blue.

I can’t deal with strong emotions.
I want peace in my life.
When I’m around rage and fighting

It cuts through me Like a knife.
We all need a savior,
To turn to when we’re mad
I can’t be your savior
Sometimes that makes me sad.
I’m just a human being.
In God’s likeness, the same as you.
I don’t want to be your hero.
A human one just won’t do.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Pray for Cindy Anthony

There are many of us who pray for Cindy Anthony. She is somebody's mother and grandmother in a very painful position; the dilemma is her own daughter is on trial for the murder of her granddaughter. I would not want to walk a mile in her shoes.

Maybe my burden for Cindy is increased as I, too know the pain of sitting in a courtroom and seeing the daughter I love being brought in wearing bright orange jail clothing, in foot shackles and handcuffs. Thank God, it was only drug related charges which seem small now, compared to what Cindy is going through. I have had many times of thinking my dreams for my daughter would come true and then many times of hope nearly dying. If I was able to talk to Cindy personally I would say, ” God does love you and He will comfort you in the way you need to be able to make it through.” I know that to have to testify against he daughter that you carried in your womb must be the most devastating thing she can imagine going through outside of the death of her granddaughter. It is obvious that the whole family loved and doted on Caylee.

Sometimes we wonder why some stories seem to touch us more than others. The pictures of little Caylee draw us all into a love relationship with this little example of an innocent child. She is pure beauty and the joy of life sparkles from her eyes. If only those eyes could be open right now, if only she could be alive to give voice to the truth.

Many of us also pray for Cindy’s daughter, Casey and especially that she can get past her wounded soul and be honest with her family and the authorities. There are so many things that could’ve contributed to her state of mind but the real truth may only be known to her and God. If she was sexually abused as a child that is a scar that remains for years. I have watched many commentaries and Dr. Drew Pinsky said she does not display the characteristics of deep sexual abuse. But as a sexual abuse survivor myself I know that some people carry a little abuse and it creates deep pain in their life and sometimes someone could be majorly abused and become a true overcomer and role model. I also know that Romans 8:28 reminds us that God works all things for good, even though it is hard to believe.

I recently read about a disorder called NPD or narcissistic personality disorder that seems to be in play here, although bipolar disorder could also contribute to the lack of emotion that Casey displays at court.

John H. Sklare, Ed.D, Lifescript Personal Coach says this about NPD and it seems to fit Casey “…. but I will tell you this: One of the most common problems narcissists have is maintaining close, one-on-one relationships. In short, NPD is characterized by arrogant and manipulative behavior, a lack of empathy for others, selfishness, and a need for constant admiration. It’s for these reasons that it’s very difficult for these people to have normal and healthy relationships with other people.”

Regardless of how any of us feel about Cindy Anthony and Casey Anthony we must all agree that they are “wounded women.”

As a wounded woman, I have a personal trainer and his name is Jesus. He has been my Wonderful Counselor and I believe my wounds led me to God and equipped me to lead others to the Lord. It can dazzle the world to see what the Lord can do with a broken heart restored and healed by the blood of Jesus. Satan would like us to be quiet about our testimony but I stand on the scripture, “They overcame him (Satan) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.” (Revelation 12:11) NIV

Part of the healing Jesus brings increases as we reach out to others as He did. He was touched with the feelings of our infirmities. When we are touched by the pain of others we want to point them to a source of comfort. So I ask please join me in praying for the Anthony family and that justice comes for little Caylee.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Different Kind of Father's Day! (An open letter to my husband)

I never wanted it to happen to you, that same pain that I go through, hating Mother's Day, and now when you said "I don't want to celebrate Father's Day," I knew. I knew you had joined me in kindred parent pain. Hating Father's Day is common for many of us who grew up with none or worse than none.

And it's there today. I see it in your eyes, the eyes of pain, of regret, of wishing you could rewind and do it over. You did the best with what you had at the time you were parenting. As a father being too extravagant at times, was the biggest thing that affected your parenting. And because of being in 2 way-dysfunctional families you came to the job with not a good father image to copy. But they still called you a "two-time survivor")
That was then..............this is now.

You are a child of the most High God and worthy.

You are loved by Him and me and even your children,

Maybe not all of them all of the time but most of them most of the time. (Remember the old saying, you can't please everyone all the time?:):)

You are honored to work with guys in recovery and they respect and love you.

You have brothers and sisters who love you.

You have nieces and nephews who love and respect you

You are a teacher in the Body of Christ and have moved in many gifts.

You walk in pain that many do not know about.........yet get up and choose to walk another day. With the kind of weeks we have had lately I would have to say that is nothing short of a miracle!
Did I say that

You are loved?

You are.
By me!

Happy Different Kind of Father's Day!

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Ringing Phone

When you have gotten that one phone call that shatters your life, you will never hear a phone ringing again without remembering. When you hear the news that your grandchild has tried to take her life you will never be the same. When you realize that she was sadder than you thought, more depressed, in pain and you just didn’t see it, you weep.
When all seems lost yet you know that you are not facing an open grave and looking at a casket, what can rise in your heart but gratitude?

Gratitude for a new day, a new dawn, and new chance for her, for her family and all those who love her. We must give thanks that the Lord has intervened, He has said, “It is not time for the enemy to triumph over this one, this daughter of Mine. I stopped the knife, I sent the help, I’m in the deep darkness of soul pain and hurt. I give strength, I give hope, I give new chances to make things right. I will give justice at My timing and I see all things. I am the “God Who Sees.” There is nothing impossible for Me. There is nothing impossible for Me. There is nothing impossible for Me. She is beauty as the dawn; she is mine.

You can’t control, change or create her life. Give her to Me as you give all the hopes, dreams, tears and prayers. Many will see and come to believe because of a life portrayed as Mine, through her.”

So we press on and hope. We press on and try to have faith, patience and love. We open the closed fists that try to hold on and release to the Lord Jesus those we love and treasure.

But when we hear the phone ringing we will always remember the phone call that changed our lives

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


Sometimes the pain of life gets in the way of living. Sometimes when we see those we love hurt it is hard to bear. Sometimes there is nothing we can do. Sometimes all we can do is pray. Sometimes we pray for help, sometimes for healing, sometimes just to make it through the next day, hour or even minute. Emotional pain and hurts can be as painful as physical and sometime even more so. Oh for the balm of Gilead to soothe our wounded hearts. Oh for the comfort of the Savior's arms in a real hug that would take away the hurts.

Sometimes we forget the scripture:

"Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?" Jeremiah 32:27 NASB

Sometimes we need to see with new eyes His plan and be grateful for all that we have been spared from going through. Sometimes we need to recount all the answered prayers and blessings we have received. Sometimes unmet expectations may be the most painful thing that we go through.
Sometimes we need to remember Hebrews 11 especially verse 13
All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.

Later on it is spoken of people that "the world was not worthy of them."

Sometimes we need to remember that the Lord God Almighty sees. He is with us in our pain and has promised to never forsake us. Sometimes we need to believe His word.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Everyone should read "The Unfinished Gift."

I haven't been up to date with my blogging as Bill's surgery and just life in general has gotten in the way, but I really wanted to post this about Dan Walsh's book, "The Unfinished Gift."
I guess I would have to say that I literally devoured this book. The little boy, Patrick, in the story is every parent's dream child and the story line and characters really drew you into the world back in 1943. Dan really did some research and I learned a lot about that era that I didn't know.
We have all met someone in our life that reminds us of the grandfather, a man who became bitter instead of better in his old age. Family dysfunction and forgiveness issues are so painful and I could feel the emotions as I read. I had not planned to finish the book so soon into my "fiction vacation" but it was really too hard to put it down. I actually saved the very end for today and finished it right after my quiet time which is not my normal reading time at all. Everyone should read "The Unfinished Gift." It is poignant and heartwarming.
Here is a link to it:

I would also suggest it as a great gift book, especially for Christmas; if you do your shopping early.
Blessings and love to you all:)

Donna Collins Tinsley