Show Me How To Live

Show me how to live is a phrase I'm borrowing from one of my daughters. When I first saw a post she signed that way I thought how perfect it was for my life, too.

SHOW. ME. HOW. TO. LIVE. Some days that is my plea to the Lord. Some days I know that I fail Him because I fail and disappoint myself so royally. Sometimes, me, the queen of self-control, loses control of my mouth and it really devastates me. I guess at times, it helps those I live with to know that I can't always maintain, stay strong or fix situations. I'm old. Tired. I need a break.

Unmet expectations that we read about in chapters of Dan Walsh's book "Perfect Peace in Imperfect Times" just reach out to me and I dwell on them instead of dwelling on the power of the living God, the perfect Savior, Jesus, my Lord. The Bible says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life." (Proverbs 13:12 NLT)

"Disappointment With God" a title of a book written by Philip Yancey, rings in my ears over and over again as I admit I'm disappointed at times. Disappointed that my plans for my life didn't take the road I thought they should take and the phrase, "my way or the highway," isn't happening.

Of course when I decide to ponder the people of God such as Shadrack, Meshack and Abednego who said in the book of Daniel, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty,that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.”

I personally have to come back to, "but if not, I will still serve the Lord." Another thing we talked about at our small book study group is without a test, there is no testimony and I'll add to that one without a mess, there is no message. The new phrase I think is a hot mess and that's what I ended up being last night. Yes, y'all after a time of a good message and focusing on the words of scripture and Dan’s book, I ended up becoming a human being behaving badly. But you know it drove me to my knees, actually it drove both Bill and me to our knees this morning as he sensed how hopeless I felt about myself and my plans for my children and grandchildren.

For those prayers I'm thankful as they did help to show me how to live. We press on and live by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. May mine ever be that Jesus always and forever shows me how to live.

A verse I turned to this morning was Psalm 105:1-2 (The Message)

 Hallelujah!

Thank God! Pray to him by name!
    Tell everyone you meet what he has done!
Sing him songs, belt out hymns,
    translate his wonders into music!

TGIF, people! I want to write a song for the Lord and so the verse above was cool to read but for now I'll focus on the words to this song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXaSWUvTb8w

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back, I know you are near

I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear
*WHOM THEN SHALL I FEAR*

CHORUS:
OH no You never let go through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go in every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go, Lord, You never let go of me
(Verse 2)

And I can see the light that is comin' for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be *AN* end to the struggles
But until that day comes, we'll live to know You here on *THE* Earth

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear
*WHOM THEN SHALL I FEAR*

*You keep on loving and you never let go*

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
and there will be and end to the struggles
but until that day comes
*STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU
STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU*

Buy Dan's book here: http://www.amazon.com/Perfect-Peace-Imperfect-Dan-Walsh-ebook/dp/B00UTPSE7M/ref=sr_1_12?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1444997676&sr=1-12&keywords=dan+walsh

Books, songs and a blog that I recommend.

Two books helped me this morning, first Dan Walsh's,“Perfect Peace: in Imperfect Times,” a devotional that I am rereading. Day 6 about tearing down imaginary walls focusing on 2 Corinthians 10:4-5(ESV) was awesome.

 “For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.  We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,” This is a verse that I already used in prayer every morning for years concerning my family.

Day 7 called The Slippery Slope of Anxious Thoughts also spoke to me as it starts out “Negative thoughts can be quite powerful if they hit you at just the right time.” (Dan Walsh)

He talks about the pattern of our thoughts, where they may or may not come from, and the armor needed to combat them.

Sometimes, I feel that when there has been hurt, pain, lack of affirmation it may suddenly flavor a reaction we have to a small thing and then unless we have put on the armor of God, a blow-up may occur.

I also love this from Mary DeMuth’s book, “Not Marked,” her take on something she calls, The Next.

An Epic to Anticipate

Pastor Mark Buchanan sat with a woman like me who had a similar story. After he heard it, he threw a desperate prayer heavenward, not knowing what to say. “And then God slipped me an insight, timely as manna dropped from the sky. He showed that her past was beyond repair, at least on my watch. If there was any good thing there was to salvage, I knew not how. But in the same instant God showed me she still had her future.  And it was vast, unbroken, pristine, radiant. Her past was a tragedy to lament. But her future was an epic to anticipate.”

That’s our story too. We cannot alter the past, but we have the power, through Jesus, to anticipate The Next.

Have you ever felt like sexual abuse is your exile? That it’s set you in a place you’d rather not be? A place not of your choosing? A mindset that haunts you? God spoke to the Israelites in their exile, encouraging those exiles to change their thinking or they would miss the great thing He planned to do. If we stay locked in the isolation of our minds, always rehashing the old, story, preferring the place of exile, we will not be able to perceive or see the cool thing God will do.

I am proof that God hews rivers in dry riverbeds, pathways through thorny thickets. He does the impossible. (Mary DeMuth from Not Marked, Pg.160)

When times are hard and the mind is a battlefield, I find that focusing on some good words from good books is a real help.

When you get right down to it the lyrics of this song is what will help you make it through the day:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nftzdsaQPR4

Happy Sunday, pray the words, sing the words and keep singing.

Words from a friend that struck my heart this week:

 

Elaine Creasman's blog

https://elainecreasman.wordpress.com/2015/06/01/fighting-the-good-fight/

Fighting the Good Fight

From The Dance to The Legacy, it doesn't get better than this!

 

I have always said that Dan Walsh really knows how to end a book and in this case a series of books. He and Gary Smalley still make me wish that they would continue this series as the characters are so compelling. I was gripped and became a fan from the very first book and actually feel that The Legacy is a book that I can give to the younger generation as a stand-alone book; a book most college age people can really relate to. Using examples of social media that is so popular among the young was something new for this series but it fit real well.

I really had no idea where they would go with a book whose main character was Doug as he seemed to be a minor character in the previous books.  I was very satisfied with exploring his journey and also Christina's. The side stories and the drama was all very emotional and kept me reading when I didn't even have time to read. But that is always the case with the books in this series.

From the back cover:
One young man is about to discover the true cost of independence!"For years, Doug Anderson has been drifting slowly but steadily away from both his family and his faith. His parents have been trying to reach him before he falls too far."

This scenario is happening to families every day and many parents are finding support groups and their small group studies at church as a way to cope.

I would've liked for Uncle Henry's character to be in the book more, as he reminds me of a wonderful dad, the kind I wish I had growing up. His advice to the family to basically "let go and let God," isn't always easy to do but wins in the end. Uncle Henry in my mind is Gary Smalley and as always Dan's interview at the end of the book with Gary gives a lot of wisdom. I've always bought some of Gary's nonfiction books as companions to this series and have really learned a lot.

I was given a copy of this novel by Dan Walsh and also a complimentary copy of the book through Revell as I am on their book review team. In return I was delighted to give an honest review of the book.

I give The Legacy five stars and hope that this isn't the end of a beautiful partnership between two gifted and compelling writers.

Father Hunger

“Father Hunger” hit me hard again at the small group meeting concerning the book, The Dance by Dan Walsh and Gary Smalley. Sometimes I can go months or even years without the deep, soul-wrenching father hunger and then something will strike my heart. Maybe just hearing about someone who just laid upon his father’s chest as a child, remembering the feel of his scratchy beard, or a father admitting that he failed in the fathering department. Knowing he can’t go back and change the past concerning his lack in parenting, he decides instead to be the very best grandfather he can be.

My father’s name was William Donald Collins. I haven’t seen him since I was about eight years old. I often wonder why he didn’t stay in touch with me; I’m not sure if he and my mama ever lived together. He was in the Army or Air Force and we stayed with my grandmother, Mary Ethel White Wirth. I was born on May 19^th, 1951 at Erlanger Hospital in Chattanooga, TN. The reason I am putting full names here is, maybe someone from my paternal family might see this and want to connect.

My mother’s name was Linda Lee Wirth Collins Reece Lewis; wow, that is a lot but most people knew her as Linda Reece in Florida, Linda Wirth in Chattanooga Valley. Everyone loved her hearty laugh and giving ways. Because she was so young, I think at times she nearly felt like I was her sister, and sometimes even her mother. Yes, we were a wildly dysfunctional family but there was always laughter in the mix. She used to say, “You have to laugh to keep from crying.” I have to agree with that one, Mama.  I miss the laughter especially now that you are gone.

I think the hardest thing for me to accept in going back to the “father hunger” was why did my paternal grandparents not look me up? That is my biggest question. After living life with an abusive first stepfather who ended up in prison and then the next was one an alcoholic for most of his life, I think I gave up on fathers. What if I found my own father and he was as bad as the rest? Why bother?

But even so, one time someone said they thought my biological dad was staying at a hotel on the beach in Daytona and wouldn’t you know, I was there looking. I saw someone who from a distance looked like those old black and white, tattered pictures and went running him down until as I got closer and I knew it wasn’t him. That was one of the times that I managed to bring tears to the eyes of my husband, Bill, as he said it was so sad to see me running after a father who never showed up for me.

Good news is my stepfather, John Lewis, that was married to Mama when she passed away did get sober in his later years. He really mellowed out. And although I never really partook of the “father” gift of my father-in-law, Pete Del CeCato because of the scars of my past, I must say he was a good one.

 I didn’t really think about that until the recent day this past May, he lay in a hospital bed and was dying.  As I laid my hands on his precious head, releasing him to the Lord, I realized that indeed, the Lord did put a good father figure in my life. “O Lord, Pete never hurt me, he never hurt my daughters; he was a good father. I never realized what I had in him, and now  it is too late.”

Because I had put walls around my heart in the father department, I never really let him be a “dad” to me. But to the ones that allowed him to be their dad, Bill’s sisters and brother, and our wonderful Phyliss who was his only biological child, a great gift was given.

This year will be the first Father’s Day he will be celebrating in heaven with our heavenly Father. We know that although many of us did not have that true “father” experience while here on earth the time in eternity together with the One True Father, Who Never Disappoints, will be a dream come true. And there will be no more father hunger for any of us who have experienced that pain.

Donna Collins Tinsley 2013

Do You Need to Slow Down, Too? Slow Me Down, Lord, But Not This Way

Sometimes when I just can’t seem to slow myself down, the Lord does it for me.

Yesterday the Lord arranged for me to pull back from a lot of things that I want to be doing. I am so grateful first to Him that I didn't have an accident when my Rack and Pinion steering devise went out on my van. I think I pulled my sciatic nerve though, as now my whole body is hurting even today; that is a big vehicle to be trying to steer as dead weight.

I'm praising Jesus that we managed to get over three lanes of what is normally heavy traffic on International Speedway Blvd. without a car hitting us. My power steering was locked up, and I am so grateful that my daughter, Amber and little granddaughter, Aryel are Okay. That is really all I could think about as I replayed in my mind looking in the rearview mirror and the miracle that we were not slammed with oncoming traffic. It was like being in slow motion.

I told Bill when he came to rescue us that just like on those gravestones that say "I told you I was sick" I've been saying something is wrong with the van for two weeks. Every time anyone else drove it, it didn't lock up; to his credit though, he took it out on Friday, drove it all over, and checked under the hood, it was all good. Even the servicemen at Tuffy’s called yesterday and said, “Hey we drove, it and it never locked up on us.” I just said to myself, Lord, Okay, I don’t know, but I do know that something is wrong and it is not my imagination.

Then miracle of miracles they discovered a defect in the Rack and pinion devise, something that had just worked on recently.

Little Aryel didn't get to go with her Ga-Ga to the library, though and I missed the “Let's Go Ministry” meeting. I will probably miss some other things that I wanted to attend this week also, but I have to look at this as the Lord helping me when I can’t help myself. I accept that I might have to be home and not everywhere I want to be, because when something is a “good thing” I want to be a part of it.

Have you ever been there, people? I know a lot of others that fight to go, do, or be everything to everyone and it is physically and mentally impossible. When I try with all my might and heart to be somewhere and find it is not working out, I have to yield. I have to remember that I need some alone time, some rest time, (why does it have to be with aching muscles, though) some reading time and some Holy Spirit time. Peace to all and if you don’t see me someplace you thought I would be, don’t be mad at me. Know I am just trying to pull back and hear the Lord. We will all be so much better in the long run, if I do. Restore our souls, Lord Jesus and go before each of us in peace, today.

A song and a prayer I offer today.

I just discovered this singer (thanks Joanie) you don't want to miss this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nvo483WyTv0&feature=related

Books I’m reading: The Reunion by Dan Walsh

And here is something else: I don't think I have ever been as excited about being in a compilation. I received my two contributor copies for “My Love to you Always.” My story "Hurricane, A Frog and True Love" is a tribute to my husband, Bill.

Anyone that wants to order a copy of this book through OakTara books will receive a 15% discount —www.oaktara.com since there is no middleman charge of any other distributor).

*Click on the FB/Twitter icons and “like” your book pages and the OakTara store in general. Ask your friends, colleagues, and family to do the same.

Everyone should read "The Unfinished Gift."

I haven't been up to date with my blogging as Bill's surgery and just life in general has gotten in the way, but I really wanted to post this about Dan Walsh's book, "The Unfinished Gift."
I guess I would have to say that I literally devoured this book. The little boy, Patrick, in the story is every parent's dream child and the story line and characters really drew you into the world back in 1943. Dan really did some research and I learned a lot about that era that I didn't know.
We have all met someone in our life that reminds us of the grandfather, a man who became bitter instead of better in his old age. Family dysfunction and forgiveness issues are so painful and I could feel the emotions as I read. I had not planned to finish the book so soon into my "fiction vacation" but it was really too hard to put it down. I actually saved the very end for today and finished it right after my quiet time which is not my normal reading time at all. Everyone should read "The Unfinished Gift." It is poignant and heartwarming.
Here is a link to it: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_7_19?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=the+unfinished+gift&sprefix=the+unfinished+gift

I would also suggest it as a great gift book, especially for Christmas; if you do your shopping early.
Blessings and love to you all:)
Donna Collins Tinsley