We are still not the Cleavers! Still trying still failing but thank God Jesus loves, forgives and upholds us anyway. If you wonder what I am talking about I am rewriting and reposting my Christmas blog; it works for everyday stuff, too:)
Gladness for the Dysfunctional Family
At our house, I have a saying, “We’re Not the Cleavers, But That Never Stopped us from Wishing We Were.” The Cleavers, the Walton’s, the Ingall’s, we would be happy to have any resemblance to those families. You might find us listed at “Dysfunctional R Us” or on Facebook with the tags: painful childhood, loss of loved ones, overcoming addictions and trauma, or we might remind you of the old Hee-Haw song, “Gloom despair and agony on me,” If it were’t for bad luck we’d have no luck at allJ. Did I make you smile yet? But for Jesus and His Word that is ever living in my heart, soul and life we would go under! And perhaps your family would also, as you wonder what has happened to your "normal" life with the economy spiraling downward, sicknesses, accidents, and natural disasters abounding.
Oh, satisfy us early with Your mercy,
That we may rejoice and be glad all our days!
Make us glad according to the days in which You have afflicted us,
The years in which we have seen evil.
Let Your work appear to Your servants,
And Your glory to their children.
And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us,
And establish the work of our hands for us;
Yes, establish the work of our hands.
Psalm 90:14-17 (New King James Version)
I love these verses in Psalm 90, I was so astounded that the Lord would actually take the days of pain and affliction that we have gone through and make us happy according to them.
Is it possible that He would give joy as He allowed sorrow? Isn't that the premise of Romans 8:28 when it is said that He will work all things to our good?
What encouraging words and what a wonderful prayer to pray today and every day. Make us glad according to the days wherein thou hast afflicted us, and the years wherein we have seen evil. ASV
Oh that the Lord would fill us with love and joy as we seek Him in the morning. It truly would give us a song to sing and a story to tell to our families and friends. How many of us want to proclaim His greatness to our children and grandchildren? Most of us do and we can by reminding them of these precious words from the Psalms.
It is okay to ask the Lord to treat us well and give us success. In my life I have felt afflicted with abuses, hurt and losses but I can prevail by focusing on the good that will come eventually. If I had not endured these things I would not be the person I am today. I was on the road to being a spoiled brat as a young girl and then my world was rocked by pain and I learned to look outside of myself. I learned that others are more important than myself. I learned about self-sacrifice from a mother who worked so many hours a week at forty-five cents an hour for years just to feed her children as my sweet Mama did. I learned that my brothers and sister were overcomers in life as they just did what they could to enjoy what little we had. We all learned that we had a lot more than many others. We learned to share what we had and that it is not material things that count but strength, maturity and kindness that will prevail all the days the Lord gives us. We learned that life isn’t about what material things we have but it is about faith, family, friends and remembering we have an awesome Saviour. One whose life was not perfect, either.
My message may be different than most people's, but I guess the slant He gives me fits some families. You know: the dysfunctional, but trying ones, the funny, but forgiven ones, the once hopeless but now Hope-filled ones! To God be the Glory! Affliction to gladness; it's the way of the Cross and the way our own Saviour took. I believe it is the way to hope for this life.
Prayer: Lord, thank you that we can be glad according to Your Word and the promises You give. We may always see evil around us but You will give us joy.
Thought for the Day: We have seen years of trouble.
Now give us as much joy as you gave us sorrow.
Prayer Focus: Dysfunctional families and the ones who love them.
Here are some other versions of the scriptures:
Fill us with your love every morning.
Then we will sing and rejoice all our lives.
We have seen years of trouble.
Now give us as much joy as you gave us sorrow.
Show your servants the wonderful things you do;
show your greatness to their children.
Lord our God, treat us well.
Give us success in what we do;
Yes, give us success in what we do.
Psalm 90:14-17 (New Century Version)
Oh! Teach us to live well!
Teach us to live wisely and well!
Come back, GOD—how long do we have to wait?—
and treat your servants with kindness for a change.
Surprise us with love at daybreak;
then we'll skip and dance all the day long.
Make up for the bad times with some good times;
we've seen enough evil to last a lifetime.
Let your servants see what you're best at—
the ways you rule and bless your children.
And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us,
confirming the work that we do.
Oh, yes. Affirm the work that we do! Psalm 90:12-17 (The Message)
Donna Collins Tinsley is a sister among you, a sojourner, who writes a word of hope for mothers who have been affected by the pain of addiction in their loved ones lives. She prays for them also through Somebody's Mother Online Prayer Support Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/119408188089314/. She lives in Port Orange, FL and has been included in 20 book compilations, several magazines and online. She is a lover of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
In memory of my Mama, Linda Lee Reece Lewis who went home to be with the Lord, 13 years ago, today
A story I wrote a while back; I am posting for a short time in memory of my Mama, Linda Lee Reece Lewis who went home to be with the Lord, 13 years ago, today. Some of you may have already read this, but I hope it is a keeper!
Mama Said
I woke up from the dream weeping, "I want my Mama!" I am 58 years old and she has been dead nearly 12 years. Will the need to reconnect with the one who gave me life never end? Is the cry of grief endless?
I first experienced it on the day that she died. It is uncontrollable, inconsolable. Involuntarily, it came from my mouth. A piercing scream to match the piercing pain in my heart. But in my mind's eye, I flash back forty years. I heard that same scream coming out of my mother's mouth at the news of her mother's death. It is nearly a primitive sound.
I was assaulted with thoughts of things I felt I could have done or should have done. In previous months, Mama had stayed with us for a few weeks to recover from several surgeries. We were in close contact but the week before she passed away, my children had been sick and we didn’t get to see each other.
Our last conversation haunted me. We had always been close and I usually called to check on her every morning. It was about 8:10 AM. I was in the midst of Monday morning rush. “Hi Mom, I’m on my way to take the kids to school and thought I’d see how you are feeling and what you are up to.”
“I can’t talk now, the nurse is here,” Mama said. It was her routine house visit to check her post-surgery wound. How I wished I had said, "Call me when she leaves." Because of such a quick call I spoke no meaningful words and felt a lack of closure.
At her moment of death I thought I would be at her side. Although I reached the hospital before the ambulance got there with Mama she had already passed away at home in her own bed.
“Please let me go in,” I begged the nurse.
“A doctor has to check her first,” I was told. Assuming she was still alive, I waited; but Mama had died at home in her own bed the way she had wanted to go.
It was hard to accept not being with her at the end. I had always tried to be the "perfect daughter." As the oldest child wasn't that part of my job description? Yet I couldn't control the uncontrollable; there is a time to be born and a time to die.
Many times when I have a dream about her I wake up and try to think of all the happy times we had. Mama was raised in the Deep South and there was always an “old saying” coming out of her mouth. Mama used to say, "Men will go after anything in a skirt!" but I'm sure we don't want to go there. As a teenage mother, divorced two times, she was probably trying to keep me from repeating her mistakes.
It wasn't easy for Mama to raise four children under the age of nine alone when my stepfather was put in prison. Her own mother and father had already passed away, and she was left on her own when she bypassed advice to put us in a children's home until she could get her life together. Although, she was a high-school dropout she was smart enough to know it could take a long time, and she wasn't going to be without her children if she could help it. I will forever be grateful that we were kept together as a family. Just sixteen when I was born she was quite a survivor! She loved to dance and I remember thinking what a pretty Mom I had as she danced to "Be Bop A Lula;" she adored Elvis, Dick Clark and the American Bandstand, and Chubby Checker, "Everybody do the twist." And everybody did.
Even though we moved often, she always worked and made sure there was food on the table. She had a lot of common sense and was so generous you would think she was a rich woman. Her employers loved her because not only could she work circles around everyone else, she made them laugh while she did it.
She used to say "It's a great life if you don't weaken," "You have to laugh to keep from crying,” and "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
And Mama always said, "What goes around comes around." That is what I would like imitate. That is why I want to sow seeds of goodness, kindness and love because those are the types of things I want to come back to my family. Bless your children and they will bless you. Love your husband and see what a return you get. It is the principal of "sowing and reaping."
Mama also said, "Only the good die young." This must certainly be true. She died unexpectedly at age 62. Sometimes I try to imagine life with her still here. Many times I have gone over in my mind the things I wanted to do for her when she was alive. Whenever we have a family celebration or are eating at a restaurant, I am often wishing she were still alive and here enjoying herself. She loved to eat and used to say, "I'd rather die than not be able to eat what I want."
Diabetes helped that statement come true.
Mama, if I had you back for even one day, I would treat you like a queen. I would take you anywhere you wanted to go. I would make you whatever you liked for me to cook, carrot cake or the little fancy sandwiches for a picnic. We would find a “Po Folks” restaurant even if I had to drive you from Florida to Tennessee to do it. I would take you to a movie and to the flea market. I would rub your back with alcohol and then lotion and I would wash your tired feet with warm, scented water and my tears. I would pray a blessing upon you and show you how much I love you.
These are thoughts I have when I meditate on my mother. Our relationship had its ups and downs, but it is still the strongest bond on the earth, that mother-daughter connection. I will always remember the things my Mama said and it’s funny, but I seem to be saying a lot of them to my own daughters, now.
Mama Said
I woke up from the dream weeping, "I want my Mama!" I am 58 years old and she has been dead nearly 12 years. Will the need to reconnect with the one who gave me life never end? Is the cry of grief endless?
I first experienced it on the day that she died. It is uncontrollable, inconsolable. Involuntarily, it came from my mouth. A piercing scream to match the piercing pain in my heart. But in my mind's eye, I flash back forty years. I heard that same scream coming out of my mother's mouth at the news of her mother's death. It is nearly a primitive sound.
I was assaulted with thoughts of things I felt I could have done or should have done. In previous months, Mama had stayed with us for a few weeks to recover from several surgeries. We were in close contact but the week before she passed away, my children had been sick and we didn’t get to see each other.
Our last conversation haunted me. We had always been close and I usually called to check on her every morning. It was about 8:10 AM. I was in the midst of Monday morning rush. “Hi Mom, I’m on my way to take the kids to school and thought I’d see how you are feeling and what you are up to.”
“I can’t talk now, the nurse is here,” Mama said. It was her routine house visit to check her post-surgery wound. How I wished I had said, "Call me when she leaves." Because of such a quick call I spoke no meaningful words and felt a lack of closure.
At her moment of death I thought I would be at her side. Although I reached the hospital before the ambulance got there with Mama she had already passed away at home in her own bed.
“Please let me go in,” I begged the nurse.
“A doctor has to check her first,” I was told. Assuming she was still alive, I waited; but Mama had died at home in her own bed the way she had wanted to go.
It was hard to accept not being with her at the end. I had always tried to be the "perfect daughter." As the oldest child wasn't that part of my job description? Yet I couldn't control the uncontrollable; there is a time to be born and a time to die.
Many times when I have a dream about her I wake up and try to think of all the happy times we had. Mama was raised in the Deep South and there was always an “old saying” coming out of her mouth. Mama used to say, "Men will go after anything in a skirt!" but I'm sure we don't want to go there. As a teenage mother, divorced two times, she was probably trying to keep me from repeating her mistakes.
It wasn't easy for Mama to raise four children under the age of nine alone when my stepfather was put in prison. Her own mother and father had already passed away, and she was left on her own when she bypassed advice to put us in a children's home until she could get her life together. Although, she was a high-school dropout she was smart enough to know it could take a long time, and she wasn't going to be without her children if she could help it. I will forever be grateful that we were kept together as a family. Just sixteen when I was born she was quite a survivor! She loved to dance and I remember thinking what a pretty Mom I had as she danced to "Be Bop A Lula;" she adored Elvis, Dick Clark and the American Bandstand, and Chubby Checker, "Everybody do the twist." And everybody did.
Even though we moved often, she always worked and made sure there was food on the table. She had a lot of common sense and was so generous you would think she was a rich woman. Her employers loved her because not only could she work circles around everyone else, she made them laugh while she did it.
She used to say "It's a great life if you don't weaken," "You have to laugh to keep from crying,” and "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
And Mama always said, "What goes around comes around." That is what I would like imitate. That is why I want to sow seeds of goodness, kindness and love because those are the types of things I want to come back to my family. Bless your children and they will bless you. Love your husband and see what a return you get. It is the principal of "sowing and reaping."
Mama also said, "Only the good die young." This must certainly be true. She died unexpectedly at age 62. Sometimes I try to imagine life with her still here. Many times I have gone over in my mind the things I wanted to do for her when she was alive. Whenever we have a family celebration or are eating at a restaurant, I am often wishing she were still alive and here enjoying herself. She loved to eat and used to say, "I'd rather die than not be able to eat what I want."
Diabetes helped that statement come true.
Mama, if I had you back for even one day, I would treat you like a queen. I would take you anywhere you wanted to go. I would make you whatever you liked for me to cook, carrot cake or the little fancy sandwiches for a picnic. We would find a “Po Folks” restaurant even if I had to drive you from Florida to Tennessee to do it. I would take you to a movie and to the flea market. I would rub your back with alcohol and then lotion and I would wash your tired feet with warm, scented water and my tears. I would pray a blessing upon you and show you how much I love you.
These are thoughts I have when I meditate on my mother. Our relationship had its ups and downs, but it is still the strongest bond on the earth, that mother-daughter connection. I will always remember the things my Mama said and it’s funny, but I seem to be saying a lot of them to my own daughters, now.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
The Cup of the Lord
It's funny how something you wrote several years ago rings true on the very date it is featured in a devotional book:)
Here is an old Christmas devotional for the day:
The Cup of the Lord
“Shall I not drink from the cup of suffering the Father has given me?" John 18:11 NLT
With the Christmas holidays approaching many will be serving different brews. There are many new designer teas, hot cinnamon apple cider and more coffees around than Juan Ortiz ever dreamed of when Starbucks opened. My personal favorite is a hot steaming cup of Columbian coffee. With the theme of cups I think of my growing collection of them: my best friend forever brought one to me from Greece, I have a beautiful gold-trimmed teacup my sister-in-law gave me from her own collection, a cup from Cracker Barrel that my husband bought me and assorted collections of china cups. One favorite is a mug that my mother gave me when I gave birth to my second child (twenty-one years after my first child) that said, “I’m a new Mom!” At age thirty-six, I felt pretty old to be new but now that Mama is gone, I treasure it.
What is the cup the Lord has given you this year? Has the brew been warm and sweet as the coffee that is handed to children, filled with milk and sugar and only a hint of the brew inside? Was your year fragrant as peppermint tea? Was it spicy as the hot chili my Mama used to make? Was it bitter as a hot medicine that you knew you must choke down to relieve the symptoms of a sore throat?
I still remember the year we had one of the best Christmas’ ever; it was nearly picture perfect. I thank the Lord for that gift.
But lives are not always picture perfect and the reality of life is that only Jesus satisfies. The cup that He has allowed in my life this year is bittersweet. But I still believe that He can bring our lives full-circle to His will.
“Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?" Job 2:10 NL
I choose to accept the cup that the Lord offers me as His gift in my life. It may not come in the gift-wrapping that I would choose or fit my picture perfect plans. But the brew He bestows will help me to grow to His image of a child of God. And His touch will stay on my life as I yield to His hand.
Donna Collins Tinsley
This was included in the compilation book:
A Cup of Comfort Book of Christmas Prayer: Prayers and Stories that Bring You Closer to God During the Holiday [Hardcover] Susan B. Townsend (Editor)
http://www.amazon.com/Cup-Comfort-Book-Christmas-Prayer/dp/1440500517/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1292760503&sr=1-2
Here is an old Christmas devotional for the day:
The Cup of the Lord
“Shall I not drink from the cup of suffering the Father has given me?" John 18:11 NLT
With the Christmas holidays approaching many will be serving different brews. There are many new designer teas, hot cinnamon apple cider and more coffees around than Juan Ortiz ever dreamed of when Starbucks opened. My personal favorite is a hot steaming cup of Columbian coffee. With the theme of cups I think of my growing collection of them: my best friend forever brought one to me from Greece, I have a beautiful gold-trimmed teacup my sister-in-law gave me from her own collection, a cup from Cracker Barrel that my husband bought me and assorted collections of china cups. One favorite is a mug that my mother gave me when I gave birth to my second child (twenty-one years after my first child) that said, “I’m a new Mom!” At age thirty-six, I felt pretty old to be new but now that Mama is gone, I treasure it.
What is the cup the Lord has given you this year? Has the brew been warm and sweet as the coffee that is handed to children, filled with milk and sugar and only a hint of the brew inside? Was your year fragrant as peppermint tea? Was it spicy as the hot chili my Mama used to make? Was it bitter as a hot medicine that you knew you must choke down to relieve the symptoms of a sore throat?
I still remember the year we had one of the best Christmas’ ever; it was nearly picture perfect. I thank the Lord for that gift.
But lives are not always picture perfect and the reality of life is that only Jesus satisfies. The cup that He has allowed in my life this year is bittersweet. But I still believe that He can bring our lives full-circle to His will.
“Should we accept only good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?" Job 2:10 NL
I choose to accept the cup that the Lord offers me as His gift in my life. It may not come in the gift-wrapping that I would choose or fit my picture perfect plans. But the brew He bestows will help me to grow to His image of a child of God. And His touch will stay on my life as I yield to His hand.
Donna Collins Tinsley
This was included in the compilation book:
A Cup of Comfort Book of Christmas Prayer: Prayers and Stories that Bring You Closer to God During the Holiday [Hardcover] Susan B. Townsend (Editor)
http://www.amazon.com/Cup-Comfort-Book-Christmas-Prayer/dp/1440500517/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1292760503&sr=1-2
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Remembering a Young Man's Life
Today I attended a celebration of a wonderful young man's life, Bruce Robb the beloved son of Mark and Christina Robb.
There wasn't a dry eye in the packed church, with standing room only. He was killed by a hit and run driver this week. What a tragedy!
Yet what we saw was a testimony of the light and love that the Lord bestows in a life. Only 19-years-old it was said he was an old soul and loved the young and the elderly. Always smiling and shining a light and love on others. I know his parents are proud of him and the Lord only takes those young whose lives will bring so many others to the grace of God.
A Celebration of Life is what those who know Jesus as Saviour have when they leave this earth.
Please join me in remembering his family in prayer as even though they have assurance he is in Heaven, the grieving process is a very real thing and is a daily process.
I have admired this family and their work for the Kingdom from afar and send much love and blessings.
Lord, we don't understand this but yield the loan of our children to your great Father arms. We know that you work all things to good as your word says in Romans 8:28. We ask that you show us the good that comes from this pain.
And wrap your arms around the Robb family and those who love them, I pray.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNXpMylnhcA&feature=related
There wasn't a dry eye in the packed church, with standing room only. He was killed by a hit and run driver this week. What a tragedy!
Yet what we saw was a testimony of the light and love that the Lord bestows in a life. Only 19-years-old it was said he was an old soul and loved the young and the elderly. Always smiling and shining a light and love on others. I know his parents are proud of him and the Lord only takes those young whose lives will bring so many others to the grace of God.
A Celebration of Life is what those who know Jesus as Saviour have when they leave this earth.
Please join me in remembering his family in prayer as even though they have assurance he is in Heaven, the grieving process is a very real thing and is a daily process.
I have admired this family and their work for the Kingdom from afar and send much love and blessings.
Lord, we don't understand this but yield the loan of our children to your great Father arms. We know that you work all things to good as your word says in Romans 8:28. We ask that you show us the good that comes from this pain.
And wrap your arms around the Robb family and those who love them, I pray.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNXpMylnhcA&feature=related
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