Many people are broken and hurting and need love, prayers and support groups. I belong to several groups and find hope and healing in each one. The Winning Women Bible Study group where the ladies held me up in prayer for years, was the first group. Several years ago I joined another group as mentioned in the article and I now am happy to be a part of Celebrate Recovery. My husband, Bill, teaches a recovery message at Men of Destiny in St. Cloud, FL. Recovery is alive and well in the State of Florida:)
Thanks to Beth Patch at CBN.com for including me, today. There are some great resources on this site for hurting and broken people!
Donna Collins Tinsley is a sister among you, a sojourner, who writes a word of hope for mothers who have been affected by the pain of addiction in their loved ones lives. She prays for them also through Somebody's Mother Online Prayer Support Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/119408188089314/. She lives in Port Orange, FL and has been included in 20 book compilations, several magazines and online. She is a lover of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Showing posts with label resources for pastors and counselors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label resources for pastors and counselors. Show all posts
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Musings on being A Sister Among You
A Sister Among You
Recently, I have started writing at times using a pseudonym. It is not really because I want to be an invisible writer but that I want to spare my very private family more pain. Because of family traumas, it seems they feel shame if there is any mention that we might be a somewhat dysfunctional, real family like many others on this planet. Although my husband and I grew up watching the Cleavers, Father Knows Best, and Happy Days we aren’t those kind of families. We might be more like someone on a Law and Order segment. So I will either have to resort to fiction or maybe I will just use the pseudonym of a Sister Among You. I would truly be invisible then, because we are a sisterhood of women.
You don’t know my name, you don’t have to; I am a sister among you. Sometimes I’m quiet and you may think I’m aloof, but you are wrong. I carry pain, for myself and for others; I am a sister among you. I was sexually abused as a child and went on at age 15 to marry a pedophile. He turned our daughter onto drugs and started the life-long battle she is just now overcoming at age 43.
I have been abused, used and tormented. I love, I hurt, and I dream dreams that turn into nightmares. I am a sister among you. Maybe I think if I open up to you and tell you about my life you will turn away.
Yes, my life would make you cringe; it would not fit into your tidy world. Once after I spoke at a retreat about “Making Peace with Your Past,” a woman came up to me later and apologized for walking out during the talk; she had to go throw up. My mama always said, “You have to laugh to keep from crying.” And I do, especially at times like that.
There are many among you, though, sisters, such as I. You may recognize yourself in some of these descriptions.
I may be your friend but you don’t really know me. How can you if you don’t share my pain, don’t drink from my cup? My cup is too horrible to taste and it would cause you to hurt also, which I would never want. Because I have seen and lived through perverseness in the eyes of men, and the hearts of women.
I am just a sister among you, I smile at you, but it only masks the pain. Daily I give myself and control of my life over to God who alone can heal the hurt. But sometimes He leaves the pain and the memories. Maybe so I won’t pass you by, another sister, lost in pain, needing a Savior, needing a friend; another sister among us.
In The Good Book it is said that what you have done for the least of these, you have done for Me. This sister may be dying emotionally, feeling hopeless as a wife, mother or woman in this world. She may be masking the pain with drugs, alcohol or even the goodness of church or volunteer work. She is trying to fill a void only God Himself can fill.
She may use men or women to fill this insatiable need to feel loved and whole. She may have endured losses such as the death of a family member, maybe even her own child: the grief seems unbearable and she wonders if she can live with this void in her life. She may be a prostitute, in danger each time she goes out. She may be trying to cover the pain of losing her children through the system.
She is somebody’s daughter.
She is a sister among you. Is she invisible to you? Will she stay that way?
Donna Collins Tinsley
Recently, I have started writing at times using a pseudonym. It is not really because I want to be an invisible writer but that I want to spare my very private family more pain. Because of family traumas, it seems they feel shame if there is any mention that we might be a somewhat dysfunctional, real family like many others on this planet. Although my husband and I grew up watching the Cleavers, Father Knows Best, and Happy Days we aren’t those kind of families. We might be more like someone on a Law and Order segment. So I will either have to resort to fiction or maybe I will just use the pseudonym of a Sister Among You. I would truly be invisible then, because we are a sisterhood of women.
You don’t know my name, you don’t have to; I am a sister among you. Sometimes I’m quiet and you may think I’m aloof, but you are wrong. I carry pain, for myself and for others; I am a sister among you. I was sexually abused as a child and went on at age 15 to marry a pedophile. He turned our daughter onto drugs and started the life-long battle she is just now overcoming at age 43.
I have been abused, used and tormented. I love, I hurt, and I dream dreams that turn into nightmares. I am a sister among you. Maybe I think if I open up to you and tell you about my life you will turn away.
Yes, my life would make you cringe; it would not fit into your tidy world. Once after I spoke at a retreat about “Making Peace with Your Past,” a woman came up to me later and apologized for walking out during the talk; she had to go throw up. My mama always said, “You have to laugh to keep from crying.” And I do, especially at times like that.
There are many among you, though, sisters, such as I. You may recognize yourself in some of these descriptions.
I may be your friend but you don’t really know me. How can you if you don’t share my pain, don’t drink from my cup? My cup is too horrible to taste and it would cause you to hurt also, which I would never want. Because I have seen and lived through perverseness in the eyes of men, and the hearts of women.
I am just a sister among you, I smile at you, but it only masks the pain. Daily I give myself and control of my life over to God who alone can heal the hurt. But sometimes He leaves the pain and the memories. Maybe so I won’t pass you by, another sister, lost in pain, needing a Savior, needing a friend; another sister among us.
In The Good Book it is said that what you have done for the least of these, you have done for Me. This sister may be dying emotionally, feeling hopeless as a wife, mother or woman in this world. She may be masking the pain with drugs, alcohol or even the goodness of church or volunteer work. She is trying to fill a void only God Himself can fill.
She may use men or women to fill this insatiable need to feel loved and whole. She may have endured losses such as the death of a family member, maybe even her own child: the grief seems unbearable and she wonders if she can live with this void in her life. She may be a prostitute, in danger each time she goes out. She may be trying to cover the pain of losing her children through the system.
She is somebody’s daughter.
She is a sister among you. Is she invisible to you? Will she stay that way?
Donna Collins Tinsley
Monday, February 8, 2010
Men of Destiny has a graduation!
What a wonderful graduation ceremony for Chris from Men of Destiny Ministries in St. Cloud, FL. The Spirit of the Lord was strong as family and friends celebrated the victory of a one-year program of discipleship. There is a strong call on Chris’ life and as he said, with his past experiences he will be able to reach those that a lot of mainstream pastors will never relate to. He shines as light of Christ wherever he goes, as mentioned by a worker from McDonald’s that he encouraged one day when she felt she couldn’t go on. Jesus was glorified by the founder, Pastor George Shafter, the director, Pastor Vincent Kendall and my husband Pastor Bill (prefers to go by Brother Bill) Tinsley. The message that you can be a new creation in Christ and not go by old tags of addict or alcoholic is a true and needed word and Bill delivered it with intensity.
If you know a man struggling with addictions or life issues have them call the office at 407 957-4292. It isn’t for the weak or fainthearted as it truly is a discipleship program but a real man with Christ abiding can come out with true direction for his life. It makes a family proud!
If you know a man struggling with addictions or life issues have them call the office at 407 957-4292. It isn’t for the weak or fainthearted as it truly is a discipleship program but a real man with Christ abiding can come out with true direction for his life. It makes a family proud!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
What are the Thin Places in Your Life?
Here is one of my book reviews of “Thin Places” by Mary E DeMuth. Thin Places will both break your heart and restore in again in Jesus name.
What are the Thin Places in Your Life?
The statistics that every two minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted and of the millions of sexual abuse and rape victims, 15 percent are under the age of 12* are incredible. I myself, was a victim at a young age, and maybe that is why I feel such a kindred spirit with Mary E DeMuth.
Mary is not a victim but an overcomer in the strongest sense of the word. She has written a memoir that only someone who grew up with abuse and dysfunction could write. She has bled on paper that others might find the same hope and healing that she found. She has exposed her life, family, love and overcoming spirit to us so that dysfunctional families could find life, hope, love and liberty in the name of Jesus. Mary may not get on Oprah although I pray that she does, but she has a standing ovation from her fan base, a core of people who adore her honesty and the light that shines through her writings. This book should be required reading in High Schools, Treatment Centers and counselor’s offices. Many times even teachers who see children all week long do not pick up on the signs of an abused child. Years ago, Guidance Counselors were there to talk to children about their problems but it seems now they only help with career choices.
The third chapter, titled, Snapshot, previewed the horrors that sometimes happen to children even when you think they are well supervised. I think the angels that watch over children daily must look on in horror at some of the things that happen to little ones, because of the depravity that is in the hearts of men. I sometimes wondered if I had been born under a dark cloud of a curse. The chapter titled, Marked, shows how sexual abuse seems to follow some girls throughout their lives and they may have to fight a victim mentality to rise above it. Other chapters are relatable, such as Snapshot, Slow Dancing, Singing, and Shame. If you had walked in similar shoes you will know exactly what I am talking about.
There are no way my words could give justice to “Thin Places.” Right now I must say that the Lord God is pleased with Mary and her transparency to show where she has bled and hurt in her life. That she would be so open to print the words of truth that will help bring healing to her sisters (and may I add brothers) that were abused in childhood is truly a gift to us. This gift came at a very high price of pain from the giver and should not be easily discarded. I admit I read through Thin Places very fast the first time so I could just know Mary’s story; now I will read it again!
You should, too!
* 2007 study by the U.S. Department of Justice
Read on for something Mary wrote about her book:
“The end result is story: mine. It’s the story of a little girl who faced sexual abuse, neglect, drug-using parents, fear, death of a parent, and a host of other malevolence. And yet it’s a hope-filled story, where the bright light of God’s climactic redemption outshines the dark places. It’s a story of God’s nearness when I thought I’d nearly lose my mind and will to live. How grateful I am for the beautiful love of Jesus, how dearly He chose frail me to shame the wise. It’s really His story after all.”
Finally, I say this about sweet Mary:
"For My hand made all these things, Thus all these things came into being," declares the LORD. "But to this one I will look, Mary who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word. Isaiah 66:2
What are the Thin Places in Your Life?
The statistics that every two minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted and of the millions of sexual abuse and rape victims, 15 percent are under the age of 12* are incredible. I myself, was a victim at a young age, and maybe that is why I feel such a kindred spirit with Mary E DeMuth.
Mary is not a victim but an overcomer in the strongest sense of the word. She has written a memoir that only someone who grew up with abuse and dysfunction could write. She has bled on paper that others might find the same hope and healing that she found. She has exposed her life, family, love and overcoming spirit to us so that dysfunctional families could find life, hope, love and liberty in the name of Jesus. Mary may not get on Oprah although I pray that she does, but she has a standing ovation from her fan base, a core of people who adore her honesty and the light that shines through her writings. This book should be required reading in High Schools, Treatment Centers and counselor’s offices. Many times even teachers who see children all week long do not pick up on the signs of an abused child. Years ago, Guidance Counselors were there to talk to children about their problems but it seems now they only help with career choices.
The third chapter, titled, Snapshot, previewed the horrors that sometimes happen to children even when you think they are well supervised. I think the angels that watch over children daily must look on in horror at some of the things that happen to little ones, because of the depravity that is in the hearts of men. I sometimes wondered if I had been born under a dark cloud of a curse. The chapter titled, Marked, shows how sexual abuse seems to follow some girls throughout their lives and they may have to fight a victim mentality to rise above it. Other chapters are relatable, such as Snapshot, Slow Dancing, Singing, and Shame. If you had walked in similar shoes you will know exactly what I am talking about.
There are no way my words could give justice to “Thin Places.” Right now I must say that the Lord God is pleased with Mary and her transparency to show where she has bled and hurt in her life. That she would be so open to print the words of truth that will help bring healing to her sisters (and may I add brothers) that were abused in childhood is truly a gift to us. This gift came at a very high price of pain from the giver and should not be easily discarded. I admit I read through Thin Places very fast the first time so I could just know Mary’s story; now I will read it again!
You should, too!
* 2007 study by the U.S. Department of Justice
Read on for something Mary wrote about her book:
“The end result is story: mine. It’s the story of a little girl who faced sexual abuse, neglect, drug-using parents, fear, death of a parent, and a host of other malevolence. And yet it’s a hope-filled story, where the bright light of God’s climactic redemption outshines the dark places. It’s a story of God’s nearness when I thought I’d nearly lose my mind and will to live. How grateful I am for the beautiful love of Jesus, how dearly He chose frail me to shame the wise. It’s really His story after all.”
Finally, I say this about sweet Mary:
"For My hand made all these things, Thus all these things came into being," declares the LORD. "But to this one I will look, Mary who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word. Isaiah 66:2
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