HE CAN MAKE YOU GLAD!

Sometimes, I go back and reread things that I wrote that shows me where I was at a certain season or timeframe of life, or helps me to press on. This is part of a 2010 message with a verse that has given me much encouragement.

Oh, satisfy us early with Your mercy,
That we may rejoice and be glad all our days!
Make us glad according to the days in which You have afflicted us,
The years in which we have seen evil.
Psalm 90:14-15 (New King James Version)

I love these verses in Psalm 90, I was so astounded that the Lord would actually take the days of pain and affliction that we have gone through and make us happy according to them.

Is it possible that He would give joy as He allowed sorrow? Isn't that the premise of Romans 8:28 when it is said that He will work all things to our good? He can make us glad! He not only makes us glad but in proportion to how much we’ve been afflicted with pain and suffering.

What encouraging words and what a wonderful prayer to pray; make us glad according to the days wherein thou hast afflicted us, and the years wherein we have seen evil. (ASV)

Oh that the Lord would fill us with love and joy as we seek Him in the morning. It truly would give us a song to sing and a story to tell to our families and friends. How many of us want to proclaim His greatness to our children and grandchildren? Most of us do and we can by reminding them of these precious words from the Psalms.

It’s okay to ask the Lord to treat us well and give us success. In my life I have felt afflicted with abuses, hurt and losses but I can prevail by focusing on the good that will come eventually. If I had not endured these things, I would not be the person I am today. I was on the road to being a spoiled brat as a young girl and then my world was rocked by pain and I learned to look outside of myself.

 I learned that others are more important than myself, early on. I learned about self-sacrifice from a mother who worked so many hours a week at forty-five cents an hour for years just to feed her children as my sweet Mama did. I learned that my brothers and sister were overcomers in life, as they just did what they could to enjoy what little we had. We all learned that we had a lot more than many others. We learned to share what we had and that it is not material things that count but strength, maturity and kindness that will prevail all the days the Lord gives us. We learned family and friends are more important than having a perfect life.

I know my message may be different than most people's, but I guess the slant He gives me fits some families. You know: the dysfunctional, but trying ones, the funny, but forgiven ones, and the once hopeless but now Hope-filled ones! To God be the Glory! Affliction to gladness; it's the way of the Cross and the way our own Savior took. I believe it is the answer to the question that I ask often of the Lord; “Show me how to live?” This day and every day satisfy us early with Your mercy,

That we may rejoice and be glad all our days!

Donna Collins Tinsley

Two songs concerning gladness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqkW19B0d3g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytE8um04l24

Family forever

 

Family forever is a thought that's been running through my mind for some days. It especially got there with the holidays. Looking at parts of the family that are still fractured can be painful. One thing I thought as I visited my brother Dale and his wife Jayne is how much I treasure my brothers and sisters. We definitely don't qualify as a close family. We all pretty much scattered away as teenagers, me marrying young, (the first time) Charles, Dale and Jeannine all working very young and doing their own thing. Charles was very young to be a husband and father at age 18 but he's done it well, all and all. My thought is, that there could never be anything that my family does or doesn't do that I wouldn't at least say, "Hi, how are you doing? I love you."

That may not mean that we'll hang together or do much else, but at least they know that they are loved.

Family forever is really something you can't get away from because it's in the blood and DNA. Of course, we know since I had my DNA test that not everyone got everything that everybody else got. LOL! I am truly EVERYWOMAN! And that being said, one of my main prayers for myself is that I can live well, and be the very best me, that the Lord created me to be. And I have to come back to what Peggy always said, "You can pick your friends but not your family," and that's cool too. Because the Lord God Almighty gave us the family He intended for some strange reason, I guess. And for our destiny, I believe.

 I've picked some pretty awesome friends along the way and a few have even told me they chose me upon seeing me for the very first time. How cool is that? Truly I don't understand why but I have always felt very honored by that statement and you know who you are girlfriend.

I have all the hope in the world for all of my family. I may not live to see some of my prayers for them answered but every day, I pray, "Thy will be done, Thy kingdom come for the destiny of the ones I love." Bill and I were talking to Pastor John recently and he said, basically that in some cases, family comes together finally but it may be at someone's funeral, and why wait until then to make it right? He's a very wise man, I must say.

But it's out of my hands and into the Lord's. I'm praying very hard for a new start for many of us.

So to complete this blog and I hope the pictures post at some point, I took the night off last night as Ryan did such a great job taking Aryel and Isaiah for the day I gave him the night shift, too. Actually I was exhausted from the holidays and just needed to chill. At some point I heard hilarious laughter drifting up the stairs. Bill and I came down to find Ryan looking like a sick calf at the table, and everyone laughing their heads off. They were playing Bean Boozled with jelly beans that tasted like, among other things: stinky socks, barf, lawn clippings, dead fish, rotten eggs... and well you get the picture. They had jelly beans the same color and it would either be the good flavor, chocolate pudding or the bad like canned dog food and you pick one and eat it. Well Ryan always picked the bad ones and Aryel always picked the good ones. It was hilarious.

Christmas is officially over and we can get back to "normal" life. Oh yes, normal is just a setting on the dryer in our family. So, heading to a new year fills with the Love, and never-ending kindness of the Lord.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD1QMSYKL6Q

Since ancient times no one has heard,
    no ear has perceived,
no eye has seen any God besides you,
    who acts on behalf of those who wait for him. Isaiah 64:4

A new prayer, for a new day.

Some days the only thing we can do is pray:

Lord, You alone, know how overwhelmed we are. Please give us some help and hope. When we are afraid help us to trust in You. When we can’t see give us Your vision. When we need HOPE be that for us. Give us direction, give us wisdom which You said You would never deny if we asked for it. Help the weary ones today, help the perplexed ones, help the needy and help our souls to cry out to You, living water, Living Hope and our great restorer of the song. We need a new song Jesus. We need manna from heaven for this day. WE NEED A TOUCH FROM THE MASTER’S HAND.

We cry out to You. We seek You, we cling to the hem of Your garment and we will be dragged along in the dirt if You don’t reach down with a tender touch. You are our tender touch today. You are our smile. You are our help. Help us. Help us, Help us please Jesus. 

Send journeymates to those who need them, resources help and friends. Take care of our loved ones, our children, grandchildren, the young and aged, also. Be the shine in the eye, the sparkle that we need, the kindness that we crave. Be our everything today we pray. We praise Your name, we love Your Word and we look to see You one day in glory! This is my prayer today to the One I love.

We Forgot How To Be Family

We Forgot How To Be Family

I’ve had this title in my mind for some time now and have wanted to write an article but I haven’t been able to get my thoughts together. For now, this is all I could put on paper, as sometimes the sadness pertaining to the title is overwhelming. Yes, there are a lot of extenuating circumstances that led us to this place and every family member has their own story. I can only work on mine.

Sometimes we all wish we could have that picture perfect family. But along the way of life something tragic happened to mine.

We Forgot How To Be Family

 So shall they fear

The name of the LORD from the west,

And His glory from the rising of the sun;

When the enemy comes in like a flood,

The Spirit of the LORD will lift up a standard against him. Isaiah 59:19 (NKJV)

We forgot how to be family.

Lord, we need help,

We forgot how to look

At each other with love,

Lord, we need help.

The many years, the tears

The toil, the pain,

Made us feel

That we could never regain

Never be true family.

Lord we need help!

It seemed so simple

Way back when

We were innocent

We had dreams but then…

We had no real role models

For how to do it

Only Jesus

To help us through it,

How can we forget

To live the Golden Rule?

How could we allow the enemy's tools

To prevail?

Like a flood He came in

Through the anxieties

Of the world,

Like a flood he came in

A tornado of pain swirled.

But the Spirit of the Lord

Will set a standard,

An escape

No hooded hero

With a cape.

But a God/man,

Christ Jesus, our Lord.

We forgot how to be family

Lord, help us remember

Help us now, I pray.

Donna Collins Tinsley

There once was a little girl who believed in Fairy Tales. She not only believed in them she loved them so much. Her book by Hans Christian Anderson both thrilled her and scared her. But she read on. She laughed, she cried, she dreamed and danced pretending to be some of those characters.

They’re not the Waltons but They Make Me Smile Or How Some Crazy Duck-calling Family Won my Heart

Happy, happy, happy gets my attention as that is what my main dream is for my own family. To be happy, happy, happy.

Then the title “A Dynasty Built on Family and Faith” also got my attention and I figured I needed to find out how the Duck Dynasty family got so happy. It is a story in Guideposts magazine written by Korie Robertson about their life.

Along the way to a happy, happy, happy family I have taken a long detour. Maybe you have, also. What got in the way of your happy family? What came in and took your dreams. What stole the heart of your children and perhaps even your grandchildren?

Did addiction rear its ugly head and everything that you thought your adult child would become just seem to vanish one day? Did you lose a loved one, a spouse or a child and think you will never be happy again. Does someone in your family wrestle with mental illness and you wonder if all hope is gone? Did cancer invade the body of someone you love? Do you have a loved one in prison?   Life can seem anything but happy at times like these.

What can you do to get your mind into a mode of happiness again?

My first and best answer would be to find a word of hope to hold on to from the Bible. You know the kind, a scripture that just jumps out at you; instinctly deep within your heart it seems as if it was written just for you. Written for such a time as this. While you are searching for a word of your own, find one for your children or that adult child that is breaking your heart. We have to know and believe that the God who created them has a plan and it is an even better plan than you, as a parent, could even dream for them.

“O you afflicted one,
Tossed with tempest, and not comforted,
Behold, I will lay your stones with colorful gems,
And lay your foundations with sapphires.
 I will make your pinnacles of rubies,
Your gates of crystal,
And all your walls of precious stones.
 All your children shall be taught by the Lord,
And great shall be the peace of your children.” Isaiah 54:11-13

My next thought for happy, happy, happy,  is give it over to prayer. Perhaps you are saying, I do that, I pray. We all have had to come to the point of not only praying but then letting go. Let go and let God is more than a slogan said at recovery meetings. It is the real deal. As a mother, though, I have to admit, I sometimes have to let go again and again, but that is OK as the Lord looks at the heart. He knows exactly the timing that we can yield that burden to Him. He is a protective God and He knows what we can deal with and when and He won’t push us or shove us to dealing with something when it is too painful for us. He deals the same way with our families.

I’ve found that what might make me happy, happy, happy will have the opposite effect on my husband or children. Sometimes I want to scream, “Let’s just all get on the same page.” But the story written from one person’s viewpoint will have a different slant and timetable in another family member’s life and so I must yield again.

What does all this have to do with the Robertson family and their Duck Dynasty? Take a comedy break as often as you can and watch their programs and reruns. It will do your heart good to see people interacting in a loving and kind way. The way families used to interact. No they aren’t the Walton’s, they don’t live in Mayberry, but they have something to teach us. 

The main lesson is God first, and then family. In my view that is a winning combination. No, my family isn’t the Walton’s, the Griffith’s or the Robertson’s but I can learn to lighten up, smile more, listen more and embrace the unique family that the Lord is building, one day at a time. My favorite quote that I say is “There is enough love to go around.” Our family is a work in progress but one day I know I will be “Happy, happy, happy” just like the Duck Dynasty family.

http://www.guideposts.org/inspiration/inspirational-stories/a-dynasty-built-on-family-and-faith?page=full

 

 

My Heart Cries out for the Breath of Heaven

My heart cries out today, for me, for you and for our children and grandchildren.

I find myself doing it all over again. Looking to something or someone to do what only the Lord my God can do for me and in me and in my family.

I see that I still want my own timetable for healing and relief and that peace that only comes from the Lord. In my mind, I can fix it. As the firstborn daughter that was part of my job description for so long, fixer/caretaker of the family. When the fixer got weary, things needed to change, I needed to pull back; I need to pull back even now. No fixer or caretaker lives forever. Sometimes as with the case with my mama, the Lord seemed to have taken her early, perhaps to spare her from some acute pain, both physically and emotionally in her life. The Bible even has a verse that says He takes those early to spare them. It is His mercy yet we at home still grieve the loss of her love, her humor and her hearty laugh.

I repent once again Jesus. I repent of wanting a counselor to fix my family. I repent of looking to the world for what only You can do. I repent of getting weary in praying and wondering if You hear me? Do You see me still? Will You send an angel as You sent to Hagar; she named You the “God who sees.” See me, Jesus; see my hopes, dreams and aspirations. See my children that I love and have failed in so many ways, but yet I am blessed to have had the privilege to bring them forth for You and give them back to You. Thank you for each one and for some wonderful grandchildren. As I look to this day, knowing I have given it over to Your hands, I pray that Your Holy Spirit will rise up strong in me, that I can face the day, future and even the dreaded hour, that I can get through anything by Your strength and power. The old song, “Where Can we go, but to the Lord” has been in my heart since I was a young girl and knew I needed a savior so much. One thing I have always known is You are the one who holds the words of life, the only one I can constantly go to, my source of peace. You are the One who holds me. You will get all glory and praise. You are my heart’s desire. Live through me this day.

The lyrics to this song can apply to others than Mary, “Breath of Heaven”

I am waiting in a silent prayer

 I am frightened by the load I bear

 In a world as cold as stone

 Must I walk this path alone?

 Be with me now, be with me now

Breath of Heaven, hold me together

 Be forever near me, breath of Heaven

 Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness

 Pour over me Your holiness for You are holy

 Breath of Heaven

(Read more: Amy Grant - Breath Of Heaven Lyrics | MetroLyrics)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW2OBT-5qfc

Thanksgiving Prayer for our Family of Origin

I thank You, for placing me in my family of origin, such as it is. (LOL!) You Lord, have given us much favor, pain, dysfunction, yet great love and even laughter, to get us through our days. I thank You for all You have brought me through: many abuses and hurts, yet You were always there. You are what keeps me going every day in every way---Jesus, my King.

You remember the little girl, who read Fairy-tales all the time. O Lord, I wanted a Fairy-tale life. You gave me a bittersweet journey. But to know You intimately, is a treasure better than a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. To know You, to love You, to feel Your Father arms wrapped around a girl who has never known her real father’s love. What a reward and what sweetness to me. It’s true I can’t sing loud enough or long enough to show my praise to you. And for the husband, children and grandchildren You have given me, I say, “Bless the Lord, O my soul and all that is within me, bless His holy name.

You will heal our fractured family, though all seems dark. You will show Yourself strong and You will be my strong help and fortress. I live my life to extol Your name, Jesus and to worship you. I am yours, Your creation, such as I am. You took a small, lowly girl from the South and gave her such favor to be amongst greatness at times. I have met famous people but have been most impressed by my loving, giving mother, who once even gave the coat off her back away. I miss her so but look forward to seeing her in glory where You will make all things right. I am forever Yours. A sister among you but a daughter of the King.

I pray a double blessing upon all who reads this today. If you are hurting, I pray that Jesus binds Your wounds and sorrows, if you think your dreams won't come true, I pray the Lord gives you a new dream, if you are missing a loved one either through death or estrangement, I pray you go back in your memories and find a good one to dwell on and thank the Lord for that precious moment. It may be that moment you held that sweet child in your arms for the first time and thought your heart would explode with love and that the world had stood still, you were so blessed. Write your own prayer of Thanksgiving and then give it to the Lord.

This blog was in response to this Bible Study, "Joseph, Beyond the Coat of Many Colors." (Mary Englund Murphy) that I am doing in my spare time, (LOL.) The assignment was: "With your own family background in mind, write out a prayer of thanksgiving."

I am always grateful for my husband, children, grandchildren, extended family, friends and the home the Lord has provided for me.

You may want to try this assignment today as it is a good way to get your mind on higher things and counting your blessings will never go out of style.

A wonderful song to go along with this theme is here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DXDGE_lRI0E

A Modern Family, The Should Haves and Shouldn't Haves of Life

Oh Lord, the "should've haves and the shouldn't haves" of my life. They are so prevalent for my family. It makes me cry at times as dreams of wholeness in family relationships are shattered in the reality of life. "What it is" as in "it is what it is" many times is a far cry from the health and wholeness You planned: "I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.


“When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen.

“When you come looking for me, you’ll find me."(Jeremiah 29:11 MSG)

Yet You saw my days when I was being formed in my mother's womb and You knew exactly how my life and the lives of my children and grandchildren would unfold, some precious, some sad days, but all known by You, Jesus, this being the key verse from Psalm 139 that I am thinking of as I write: "And in Your book were all written

The days that were ordained for me,

When as yet there was not one of them."

Our "Modern Family" may be more like the comedy show portrayed on television but it really isn't much worse than some from biblical times and days. Peace to your day and I'm ending with a link to a Bible Study book that I am working on.

 

I love what Mary Englund Murphey writes in Joseph, Beyond the Coat of Many Colors: "I have a tendency to read biblical accounts and mentally critique the should haves and shouldn't haves. Abraham shouldn't have slept with Hagar; Sarah should have waited on God. Isaac shouldn't have tried to thwart God's plan; Rebekah should have trusted God for His outcome. Yes, they should have and they shouldn't have but they didn't and they did, and in spite of it all, God was gracious and forgiving, and continued to work in their lives to accomplish His will.

We could make an endless list of should haves and shouldn't haves about our lives, too, but the great new is this: In spite of our past, he will use you and me when each of us turns back to Him!" (Mary Englund Murphey)

http://www.amazon.com/Joseph-Beyond-Following-Through-Character/dp/0899573339/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348144456&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=Mary+Englund+Murphey

I can break the chains that bind you- Jesus

I think this song was written for me. I pray each day that the Lord will put our family chains back together in His perfect way. If you have ever felt alone in the battle for a normal family you will want to take these lyrics deep into your heart. They are truly God-written. The link to the song is at the end; it has some beautiful pictures with the music: Matthew West - Family Tree (lyrics) You didn't ask for this, nobody ever would
Caught in the middle of this dysfunction
It's your sad reality, it's your messed up family tree
And all you're left with all these questions

Are you gonna be like your father was and his father was?
Do you have to carry what they've handed down?

No, this is not your legacy, this is not your destiny
Yesterday does not define you
No, this is not your legacy, this is not your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you

I have a dream for you, it's better than where you've been
It's bigger than your imagination
You're gonna find real love and you're gonna hold your kids
You'll change the course of generations

Oh, this is not your legacy, this is not your destiny
Yesterday does not define you
No, this is not your legacy, this is not your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you

'Cause you're my child, you're my chosen
You are loved, you are loved
And I will restore all that was broken
You are loved, you are loved

And just like the seasons change winter into spring
You're bringing new life to your family tree now
Yes, you are, you are

Oh, oh, ooh
Oh, this will be your legacy, this will be your destiny
Yesterday did not define you
Oh, this will be your legacy, this will be your meant to be
I can break the chains that bind you

And just like the seasons change, winter into spring
You're bringing new life to your family tree now

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-opi1Qre8Cc

All the Flowers Book Review

Is "All the Flowers:" love story, a dysfunctional family story, a story of faith, and a heartrending story of war while viewing things on the home front or all of the above?
Tom Milton beautifully wove so many subjects into the story that could even be a history lesson to the younger generation about the Vietnam era, with the setting in New York in 1967. I remember that era well as it was the year I gave birth to my first child.

Those of us who have family members that served in that war, know that the ones who returned home have never been the same.
The love story that evolved between Teri Ryan, a hauntingly talented singer and Andre Malinowski, a gifted pianist is beautiful to behold. I was reminded of beautiful recitals that I have attended in my life, as my own grandmother taught piano and I loved thinking about the beautiful music interwoven in the story. Andre's character was a very loving, supportive man who gave up opportunities that would have enhanced his own career to always be there for Teri. She was also a leading basketball player on the college's team and has a twin brother. The story also portrays the great love Teri has for her brother and how she wants him to avoid going to Vietnam.

I was not too familiar with Catholicism and got a bit of an education with their beliefs and habits also. The characters of the nuns and their relationship with the students and involvement with antiwar activities were very interesting. I was surprised at the use of some profanity in the book but of course the subject matter of war is profane. I think it could’ve gotten by without it, personally.
There were times at the first half of the book that I actually thought there was a little too much dialogue if that can be possible. I felt that sometimes I wasn't sure who was speaking.

But I think something captured me especially in the last quarter of the book and made me a fan. The only issue I have was on page 246 when Andre imagined what had just happened with nothing saying if it was proven that was what happened by the Police. Tom Milton and All the Flowers brought me to tears several times with this story I was happy to find it to be about reconciliation of families and hope for the future in the end. I'll be reading more of Tom's books in the future. "I know my Redeemer liveth" a beautiful theme from beginning to the end of the book.
Donna Collins Tinsley, wife, mother and grandmother, lives in Port Orange, Florida and has been included in several magazines and book compilations. Find her at Facebook, http://thornrose7.blogspot.com/ or join Somebody’s Mother Online Prayer Support Group at http://www.facebook.com/groups/119408188089314?id=244911885538943

Please email her at Thornrose7@aol.com /
I received this book free from BOOKCRASH as part of their Blogger Review program. I was no asked to write a positive review and the opinions expressed are entirely my own.

I am disclosing this in accordance with the FTC 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Thanksgiving and Complications

I think the word for today is complications; families are complicated, hurting, sad, broken yet our Lord is Lord over the complications! This we will believe in our darkest night of the soul, in the most complicated issues, in the wildest storm, You Jesus Christ our God and Father are Lord over the complications. You know the beginning from the end, the Alpha and Omega, the beautiful pattern of tapestry. Why would we think we can go through life pain-free when you suffered ultimately? Though it doesn't make us feel good to go through things, we know we have fellowship with Your suffering. We will believe the report of the Lord today that this is the day that He has made and in that we can find some small thing to rejoice in. Everyone reading this has the gift of life, everyone reading this is able to find someone to bless in some small way, if not a large way, everyone reading this can be thankful for something today. If we have lost family members thank the Lord for those we have left, if we are in pain in one part of our body, thank the Lord for the parts that don't hurt, if we don't have an abundance of provision thank the Lord for what we do have. It is a "give thanks" day and we don't have to wait until Thursday for Thanksgiving

Authenticity through brokenness; A Key to parenting

You Can Raise Courageous and Confident Kids: Preparing Your Children for the World They Live"
By  Mary E. DeMuth

I was hooked on this book from the allegory at the beginning: "When he walked down the peopled street into the free, wild unknown, Jacob had no tools to navigate the world. He dropped his satchel and faced the confusing world lost and alone" to the very last page. Mary gives us the tools to use, so that our children will not have to feel lost and alone navigating the world.
I am a great fan of Mary E. DeMuth, both of her fiction and nonfiction. As I was reading this book, I thought how it would help so many people in the "Adult Children of Alcoholics" groups as they have had parenting at its worst. They sometimes talk about their childhood's and how they were parented. It is obvious although some have made great strides not to parent in the same way they were parented they could so benefit by Mary's books. When we have a "lost childhood" we sometimes don't know how to parent.
Many times as I was reading I wished I had grown up in the type of home that Mary is giving her children right now. Although she sometimes feels as we all do, that she fails her children at times. She has written some powerful, helpful things to steer us on in "You Can Raise Courageous and Confident Kids: Preparing Your Children for the World They Live"

Mary also gives questions for group discussions at the closing of the book that could be used as a personal Bible Study. Great addendum!
The story at the end of this book showed the very best scenario and I had tears running down my face as I saw what a beautiful send-off we can give if we really get the hang of raising courageous and confident kids. It would be a great gift to give at a baby shower.
Mary is a master storyteller but she shows authenticity through brokenness and for this reason I recommend this book.

Donna Collins Tinsley

I was very late getting this review written and for that I apologize:)
http://www.amazon.com/You-Raise-Courageous-Confident-Kids/dp/0736929711/ref=sr_1_10?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1315832138&sr=1-10

Grace Builders and Me

Cecil Murphey wrote an article called, “Grace Builders” about the people who sometimes criticize us or rub us wrong. He gave several examples and each had been painful to his heart. Yet in the end he realized that those people were used by God to help him grow.

He talked about a 45 minute lecture he had received as a young pastor by some sisters that wanted to show him the error of his ways.


“As I walked out of the house, depression weighted me down. Their criticism hurt. I sat in my car for several minutes and prayed in deep anguish. By the end of the day, however, I had grasped one significant fact about those three sisters. They were God's grace builders in my life.”(Cecil Murphey)
Grace Builders is a beautiful name to call those who rub us raw sometimes in the name of Christian love and correction. Grace Builders! Do you have any? Maybe they belong to your family, maybe as Brother Cec mentions at the end, you yourself are one.
I have often thought how the scriptures talk about Paul and Barnabus and their parting over John Mark (Acts 15:39). I think about the apostles who would’ve just stayed together in the Upper Room instead of scattering to get the gospel out to more people, if they hadn’t had some Grace Builders around. I think about how we sometimes want to have a happy, close family but all that closeness and contentment may hinder the Lord’s true purpose of getting the word out of His grace to others who are dealing with family dysfunction. The word that His grace is sufficient for all things. Even dreams that don’t come true, at least not today. Never give up, though; Grace is coming through.

God’s Waiting Room

Because I am seeing so many mothers hurting, I’m posting a story I wrote back when my oldest daughter was in the midst of her addiction. I am proud to say she is nearly 3 years sober now and is working on making the rest of her life count, helping others along the way.


God’s Waiting Room

I’ll never forget the day my friend called me “the mother of dreams.” We were talking on the phone at that time. I was discouraged; she was cheering me up. She meant it in a special way, as if I was the mother of her dreams, a prayer warrior, faithful and kind. Yet I, knowing myself as I do, struggling at times to just keep my sanity, heard it as what I truly am, a “mother who dreams.”


I dream of the day when my daughter will be whole and not have to depend on illegal drugs to get through the day. I dream of sanity in our lives instead of chaos. I dream of peace and right standing with God for all my children and grandchildren. I dream of testimonies given of overcoming by God’s grace and the mercy He lavishes upon us each day. I dream of happiness, wholeness and health. I dream of restored relationships. I dream of learning to go down a different path and being happy to stay on it, instead of falling in the dark pits of familiarity. And I dream of the day that all my children will be taught of the Lord, and great will be the peace of my children.


“Then you will know that I am the LORD those who hope in me will not be disappointed."


Isaiah 49:23;


Yet amidst these dreams, as we are waiting, we often feel disappointed. Is it wrong to feel disappointed with God? Philip Yancey wrote a whole book on the subject. “Disappointment With God,” tells many stories of real people going through literal “hell on earth” and realistically examines their plights and questions. I would recommend this book and also his book “Searching For an Invisible God,” if you have ever felt like you don’t understand the ways of the Lord.


What I want to do now is to remind us to hope in God. I have started researching the word “hope” as found in the Bible. If you are in “God’s Waiting Room” you are probably in need of encouragement, and the word of God is the greatest encouragement I know of. Even a study on the book of Job will bring hope when we see the restoration at the end.


But so many of us in “God’s waiting room” may feel as though we have been forgotten, as so often happens at a doctor’s office. We may see people who came in after us, go in first, or when we finally get in to the inner examining room we still find ourselves waiting. We have been stripped down, perhaps cold and frightened about what the doctor is going to say or do, and worrying. I don’t know about you, but I find that a very frustrating experience.


For the Christian there are no guarantees on the outcome of a situation. As noted in Hebrews 11 the great faith chapter we don’t all see the conclusion of the things God has planted in our hearts. But we can still look with hope for the promise.


The book of Hebrews starts off with hope:


Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. Hebrews 11:1

Yet even as I speak this word of encouragement I know that many of you have lost hope in your child, in your life even in your future. It is hard to hope in what you cannot see. But just take it a step at a time, a day at a time, even a moment at a time. Pray for the strength to just do the next thing that needs to be done. It may have nothing to do with the child that has gone astray. The next thing you may need to do is learn to take care of yourself. Maybe you have beat yourself up with guilt over the things you think you should’ve done or could’ve done that you are walking weary and wounded. Learn to be good to yourself. Treat yourself well. The commandment about loving your neighbor as you love yourself---you would be kind to a neighbor, so kindly take care of yourself and those that are right before you.


There are some of you in whom the Lord would say, “the world was not worthy of them.” He would say to you that He has seen your walk of faith through the pain of living in this world. He knows you are not perfect in your endeavors but He knows you have tried. He knows you love your child, and you, His child, are loved by Him with an everlasting love. He sees the big picture that we cannot see. He loves your child more than you can ever imagine, although as a parent yourself, you feel that no one could match the love you feel. He will draw a hurting parent close. He does not forget your labor of love towards your child and to Him your heavenly Father. The sacrifice of praise while we are in God’s waiting room is of great value to Him. You cannot change anyone but yourself. And only God can change a heart bent on going its own way.

Donna Collins Tinsley
If it costs you nothing, it's worth nothing! Endurance is the price tag of achievement. Listen, "We pray that you'll have the strength...not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the...strength God gives...that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy" (Col 1:11 The Message).

Pray for Cindy Anthony

There are many of us who pray for Cindy Anthony. She is somebody's mother and grandmother in a very painful position; the dilemma is her own daughter is on trial for the murder of her granddaughter. I would not want to walk a mile in her shoes.

Maybe my burden for Cindy is increased as I, too know the pain of sitting in a courtroom and seeing the daughter I love being brought in wearing bright orange jail clothing, in foot shackles and handcuffs. Thank God, it was only drug related charges which seem small now, compared to what Cindy is going through. I have had many times of thinking my dreams for my daughter would come true and then many times of hope nearly dying. If I was able to talk to Cindy personally I would say, ” God does love you and He will comfort you in the way you need to be able to make it through.” I know that to have to testify against he daughter that you carried in your womb must be the most devastating thing she can imagine going through outside of the death of her granddaughter. It is obvious that the whole family loved and doted on Caylee.

Sometimes we wonder why some stories seem to touch us more than others. The pictures of little Caylee draw us all into a love relationship with this little example of an innocent child. She is pure beauty and the joy of life sparkles from her eyes. If only those eyes could be open right now, if only she could be alive to give voice to the truth.

Many of us also pray for Cindy’s daughter, Casey and especially that she can get past her wounded soul and be honest with her family and the authorities. There are so many things that could’ve contributed to her state of mind but the real truth may only be known to her and God. If she was sexually abused as a child that is a scar that remains for years. I have watched many commentaries and Dr. Drew Pinsky said she does not display the characteristics of deep sexual abuse. But as a sexual abuse survivor myself I know that some people carry a little abuse and it creates deep pain in their life and sometimes someone could be majorly abused and become a true overcomer and role model. I also know that Romans 8:28 reminds us that God works all things for good, even though it is hard to believe.

I recently read about a disorder called NPD or narcissistic personality disorder that seems to be in play here, although bipolar disorder could also contribute to the lack of emotion that Casey displays at court.

John H. Sklare, Ed.D, Lifescript Personal Coach says this about NPD and it seems to fit Casey “…. but I will tell you this: One of the most common problems narcissists have is maintaining close, one-on-one relationships. In short, NPD is characterized by arrogant and manipulative behavior, a lack of empathy for others, selfishness, and a need for constant admiration. It’s for these reasons that it’s very difficult for these people to have normal and healthy relationships with other people.”

Regardless of how any of us feel about Cindy Anthony and Casey Anthony we must all agree that they are “wounded women.”

As a wounded woman, I have a personal trainer and his name is Jesus. He has been my Wonderful Counselor and I believe my wounds led me to God and equipped me to lead others to the Lord. It can dazzle the world to see what the Lord can do with a broken heart restored and healed by the blood of Jesus. Satan would like us to be quiet about our testimony but I stand on the scripture, “They overcame him (Satan) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.” (Revelation 12:11) NIV

Part of the healing Jesus brings increases as we reach out to others as He did. He was touched with the feelings of our infirmities. When we are touched by the pain of others we want to point them to a source of comfort. So I ask please join me in praying for the Anthony family and that justice comes for little Caylee.

The Ringing Phone

When you have gotten that one phone call that shatters your life, you will never hear a phone ringing again without remembering. When you hear the news that your grandchild has tried to take her life you will never be the same. When you realize that she was sadder than you thought, more depressed, in pain and you just didn’t see it, you weep.
When all seems lost yet you know that you are not facing an open grave and looking at a casket, what can rise in your heart but gratitude?


Gratitude for a new day, a new dawn, and new chance for her, for her family and all those who love her. We must give thanks that the Lord has intervened, He has said, “It is not time for the enemy to triumph over this one, this daughter of Mine. I stopped the knife, I sent the help, I’m in the deep darkness of soul pain and hurt. I give strength, I give hope, I give new chances to make things right. I will give justice at My timing and I see all things. I am the “God Who Sees.” There is nothing impossible for Me. There is nothing impossible for Me. There is nothing impossible for Me. She is beauty as the dawn; she is mine.


You can’t control, change or create her life. Give her to Me as you give all the hopes, dreams, tears and prayers. Many will see and come to believe because of a life portrayed as Mine, through her.”

So we press on and hope. We press on and try to have faith, patience and love. We open the closed fists that try to hold on and release to the Lord Jesus those we love and treasure.


But when we hear the phone ringing we will always remember the phone call that changed our lives

Got dysfunction?

If the Judd’s put the fun in dysfunctional I’m thinking our family took the fun out of it. Anita Smith said any family not functioning under the headship of the Lord Jesus is dysfunctional.


I love hearing about families that are dysfunctional because I see we aren't the only ones. But family pain can hurt as no other can.

When I knew better, I did better, is a quote I love by Joyce Meyer. I use that one often, so I hope y'all don't get tired of it.

Got dysfunction? Get Jesus and live as best as you can, the way He lived.

Still Not the Cleavers!

We are still not the Cleavers! Still trying still failing but thank God Jesus loves, forgives and upholds us anyway. If you wonder what I am talking about I am rewriting and reposting my Christmas blog; it works for everyday stuff, too:)
Gladness for the Dysfunctional Family
At our house, I have a saying, “We’re Not the Cleavers, But That Never Stopped us from Wishing We Were.” The Cleavers, the Walton’s, the Ingall’s, we would be happy to have any resemblance to those families. You might find us listed at “Dysfunctional R Us” or on Facebook with the tags: painful childhood, loss of loved ones, overcoming addictions and trauma, or we might remind you of the old Hee-Haw song, “Gloom despair and agony on me,” If it were’t for bad luck we’d have no luck at allJ. Did I make you smile yet? But for Jesus and His Word that is ever living in my heart, soul and life we would go under! And perhaps your family would also, as you wonder what has happened to your "normal" life with the economy spiraling downward, sicknesses, accidents, and natural disasters abounding.
Oh, satisfy us early with Your mercy,

That we may rejoice and be glad all our days!

Make us glad according to the days in which You have afflicted us,

The years in which we have seen evil.

Let Your work appear to Your servants,

And Your glory to their children.

And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us,

And establish the work of our hands for us;

Yes, establish the work of our hands.

Psalm 90:14-17 (New King James Version)
I love these verses in Psalm 90, I was so astounded that the Lord would actually take the days of pain and affliction that we have gone through and make us happy according to them.
Is it possible that He would give joy as He allowed sorrow? Isn't that the premise of Romans 8:28 when it is said that He will work all things to our good?

What encouraging words and what a wonderful prayer to pray today and every day. Make us glad according to the days wherein thou hast afflicted us, and the years wherein we have seen evil. ASV

Oh that the Lord would fill us with love and joy as we seek Him in the morning. It truly would give us a song to sing and a story to tell to our families and friends. How many of us want to proclaim His greatness to our children and grandchildren? Most of us do and we can by reminding them of these precious words from the Psalms.
It is okay to ask the Lord to treat us well and give us success. In my life I have felt afflicted with abuses, hurt and losses but I can prevail by focusing on the good that will come eventually. If I had not endured these things I would not be the person I am today. I was on the road to being a spoiled brat as a young girl and then my world was rocked by pain and I learned to look outside of myself. I learned that others are more important than myself. I learned about self-sacrifice from a mother who worked so many hours a week at forty-five cents an hour for years just to feed her children as my sweet Mama did. I learned that my brothers and sister were overcomers in life as they just did what they could to enjoy what little we had. We all learned that we had a lot more than many others. We learned to share what we had and that it is not material things that count but strength, maturity and kindness that will prevail all the days the Lord gives us. We learned that life isn’t about what material things we have but it is about faith, family, friends and remembering we have an awesome Saviour. One whose life was not perfect, either.
My message may be different than most people's, but I guess the slant He gives me fits some families. You know: the dysfunctional, but trying ones, the funny, but forgiven ones, the once hopeless but now Hope-filled ones! To God be the Glory! Affliction to gladness; it's the way of the Cross and the way our own Saviour took. I believe it is the way to hope for this life.

Prayer: Lord, thank you that we can be glad according to Your Word and the promises You give. We may always see evil around us but You will give us joy.
Thought for the Day: We have seen years of trouble.

Now give us as much joy as you gave us sorrow.
Prayer Focus: Dysfunctional families and the ones who love them.


Here are some other versions of the scriptures:

Fill us with your love every morning.

Then we will sing and rejoice all our lives.

We have seen years of trouble.

Now give us as much joy as you gave us sorrow.

Show your servants the wonderful things you do;

show your greatness to their children.

Lord our God, treat us well.

Give us success in what we do;

Yes, give us success in what we do.

Psalm 90:14-17 (New Century Version)



Oh! Teach us to live well!

Teach us to live wisely and well!

Come back, GOD—how long do we have to wait?—

and treat your servants with kindness for a change.

Surprise us with love at daybreak;

then we'll skip and dance all the day long.

Make up for the bad times with some good times;

we've seen enough evil to last a lifetime.

Let your servants see what you're best at—

the ways you rule and bless your children.

And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us,

confirming the work that we do.

Oh, yes. Affirm the work that we do! Psalm 90:12-17 (The Message)

My take on “Lead Me” by Sanctus Real

A wife’s heartache, a child’s plea, a husband’s cry for help, it is all there in this beautiful song. A lyrics award should go to this couple for truth and honesty; they portray the hurt and pain that are in so many families. To be fair, though, many husbands just haven’t had the role model to be able to truly lead their families. That is why they would rather work or try to fill their own emptiness with hobbies or anything that will pacify the pain. Most men feel it is their job to “fix” their family and when that is easier said than done, they retreat. It truly won’t be fixed until they do as is said at the end of the song, yield to the Lord:
So Father, give me the strength

To be everything I'm called to be

Oh, Father, show me the way

To lead them

Won't You lead me?

No one can do it alone and thank God through the Lord Jesus Christ, we don’t have to.
Here's the lyrics: Sanctus Real - “Lead Me”

I look around and see my wonderful life

Almost perfect from the outside

In picture frames I see my beautiful wife

Always smiling

But on the inside, I can hear her saying...
“Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams, what about us?


Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone”


I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes

They're just children from the outside

I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine

They're independent

But on the inside, I can hear them saying...


“Lead me with strong hands

Stand up when I can't

Don't leave me hungry for love

Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight

That I'm still the love of your life

I know we call this our home

But I still feel alone”



So Father, give me the strength

To be everything I'm called to be

Oh, Father, show me the way

To lead them

Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands

To stand up when they can't

Don't want to leave them hungry for love,

Chasing things that I could give up


I'll show them I'm willing to fight

And give them the best of my life

So we can call this our home

Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone


Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=lead+me+sanctus+real&aq=0

Is your family sometimes described as a dysfunctional, motley crew?

Think about this:

I decided for the New Year I would reread my New Testament, The Message version. Yesterday I noticed for the first time, that in the linage of Jesus they always named the father but only named a few mothers. It was interesting that the only mothers mentioned other than Mary, were women of questionable reputation.


Tamar had to use deceit to get her rightful heir, Rahab was a lady of the night, Ruth an outcast who was so faithful to her mother-in-law that she obtained blessings, and Bathsheba was noted as Uriah's wife (since she was married to him, when King David called for her.) And little, pure Mary had rumors about her as she and Joseph were not married at the time she conceived our King. What sacrifices have been made for us to have salvation!
So, don't feel bad if your family line is somewhat a dysfunctional, motley crew. You are in good company.