I wish I had my old life back!

My old life is looking a lot better since it has changed recently.
I went to the foot doctor where they put another soft cast on. It was a blessing to have it off for a couple of hours; there is still bruising and the hard lump, but it looked much better.

By the time I got to the doctor it had started swelling again, but she projects I will be pretty normal by Oct. which was way longer than I thought.
I am sure it is on track, but I thought it wouldn't take as long as the doctor said. She said I am still swelling even up in my leg and toes; she considered putting a leg cast on, but said if I tried to keep the foot elevated more and try some support stockings, it may be OK without that.
I am really going to appreciate my old "normal" life when I can just walk in regular shoes again. I am trying to hear what the Lord wants me to hear through this.
Mainly it seems that I am thinking more about people that have "real" problems. I am trying to count my blessings more. I am trying to look at people I see when out shopping and be kinder; I saw an elderly gentleman with a can. He saw me hobbling along and asked how I was doing. I told him, I was better this week; the week before I was using a cane, too. I notice if you smile more at people it takes their gaze off this really ugly cast/boot shoe I am wearing and either brightens their day or makes them wonder what I am up to:)
I have never walked this slow in my life and now I know why Bill was always telling me to wait; he is way ahead of me now.
We still are praying the VA will come through with surgery help for him, and I'm thinking I really need to get better for that. But for now it seems, I am still spending a lot of time with my foot elevated.
I did finish out the summer with two great books, "A Cup of Comfort for Women" and for my fiction vacation, "You Make Me feel Like Dancing," by Allison Bottke. I got a real education about the disco generation through that book and I always feel like dancing, at least before the foot cast.
I long to dance before the Lord again in my kitchen; here's an old poem I wrote with that theme.
My Kitchen Time
I stand before Your throne, Lord
In this little kitchen of mine
I stand in Your throne room
In the mirror of my mind
I worship You here
With dance and praise
I give you glory
All my days

Before You only
I can be so free
Because for this
You created me

O love the Lord always
Come daily to Him
With thanks and praise
He will carry you
Through painful days
He will show you the miracles
And secrets
Of His ways
For He is our Father
And is worthy of our praise.

Musings on Life, Marriage and Dancing in the Minefields

Musings on Life, Marriage and Dancing in the Minefields

Recently, Bill and I celebrated 30 years of marriage. I am blessed with a wonderful, Godly husband and I am so grateful that he is in my life. On that hot day in July, 30 years ago, we never imagined the blessings that the Lord had for us.
But to say that our life and marriage has been a wonderful waltz would be a denial of the strength the Lord could bring through trials. “Endure hardship with me” is a phrase that is written in my Bible. There is no phrase in the Bible that says, “Be a Christian, marry a Christian and live happily ever after.”
One time Bill sent me a card, and it had a picture of a Construction Zone. It was an encouraging message of our lives being a “work in progress.” If you think about it, that is what we all are, there are none that have arrived yet. We are all in construction, hopefully becoming more like the Lord.
J. Lee Grady in his article (http://www.charismamag.com/index.php/fire-in-my-bones/28858-warning-you-are-entering-gods-construction-zone#readmore) recently said, “We aren't used to hearing sermons about God's construction zone. Some preachers believe the journey of faith is like skipping effortlessly through LaLa Land. We don't expect people to conform to the image of Christ; we don't warn people that Christ-likeness requires brokenness; and we don't teach that brokenness comes when we embrace trials and suffering.

Yet the Bible says: "Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you; but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exultation" (1 Peter 4:12-13, NASB).”
I love Mr. Grady’s take on this and I wonder why there isn’t more teaching like “brokenness comes when we embrace trials and suffering.”?

Any growth at all in my life from early childhood onward has been through pain. If the Lord had not allowed the pain of abuse I would have been a truly spoiled brat as a young girl; I was surely on my way to that early on. But I was spared by being broken by the pain of life, which helped me to become a more compassionate person. Had I not been broken, had I had every need in my life met, I would hate to see the type of woman I may have become.
Many (but not all) of the minefields of our marriage have been related to pain of my first marriage and Bill trying to help me help my oldest daughter overcome an addiction her biological father started her on. When we truly let go and let God, Jesus was the one to bring victory to her hurting heart. She is now celebrating her 2 year anniversary of living sober and giving her testimony to that.

But there were some painful minefields along the way. We give the Lord Jesus all the glory for He does all things well. And there will probably always be a minefield of some sort in our lives, in fact, it seems as if as soon as we get past one, we see another one. That’s just the way life is, it rains on the just and the unjust. There are many hurting people in our extended family and world. We can’t dance around their pain; it is legitimate to them, even if a little extra looking to the Lord would give them a source of relief. Although it is true the old saying that “We may be the only Bible someone reads” we can’t force a relationship with the Lord on anyone. But we can make them thirsty for living water and then point them to our source.
Jesus has never allowed the pain of life to strip me of the deep song of longing within my heart for His will in my life. He has never taken away the desire to dance from me, sometimes alone in my kitchen with a song of praise to Him, sometimes at a wedding or party. Bill doesn’t believe he can dance and so he has missed a lot of joy that the rest of us have when we just get out there on the dance-floor and move around.

One day we will both dance before our Lord and King and He will tell us of all the things He protected us from, all the calamities we were spared and show us the treasure he had waiting when he brought two hurting people together that sunny day in 1980.

Staying in touch

Sometimes, life is so hectic and painful it is hard to stay in touch. I am not a professional blogger although I would like to be one. I am truly just a sister among you. One who doesn’t have it together, weeps for her friends and family, dreams, hopes and prays for them, also. I found this article that I wrote some years back and felt led to post it today. It probably is way too personal and way to much information for some of y’all, but it sums up a lot and fills in some blanks. Don’t ever let Satan take the music out of your hearts:)

I’ve Got The Music In Me

Musings about A Boomer Woman’s Music
From the strands of “Shall We gather at the River” played by my grandmother on the piano at the little country church in Chattanooga Valley, Tenn. to “I Hope You Dance” a recent hit sung by Lee Ann Womack, music has always played a role in my life and the life of many “Boomer Women.”

I remember sitting in front of the little black and white television set, mesmerized by Elvis Presley swinging his hips on the Ed Sullivan show. Was he from the devil as some people tried to say, or just the handsomest person I had ever seen in my short life? “Whatever Will Be Will Be, Que Sera,” always in the background of my mind, I was drawn to those shows with music. Variety shows were very popular in the fifties and the Lennon sisters were a household word. As a little girl I would dress up in my swirly ballerina outfit (do you remember crinoline slips?) and sing and dance as I watched the small black and white television set. I had a song in my heart and no one was going to take it from me. Or were they?

Life happens. Not always happy. Stripped from my childhood home with my grandmother, and the sounds of “Amazing Grace” I remember my stepfather hollering out the door of our Florida home, “Donna Renee, shut up that singing!” That was not the only way he tried to take the music from me. When they put him in prison, the landlord kept our piano and the roots of music I learned from my grandmother seemed to vanish also. The little girl who by age five could play the piano by ear disappeared. Bravery to perform in front of people became nervous fear, and I trembled whenever I was called to do anything publicly.



Raising 4 children alone was hard for my Mama. Just 16 when I was born she was nearly a “Boomer Woman” herself. She loved to dance and I remember thinking what a pretty mom I had as she danced to “Be Bop A Lula,” “Cathy’s Clown” and “Great Balls of Fire.” We lived through American Bandstand, Dick Clark, Chubby Checker, Joey Dee and the Starlighters, “everybody do the twist.” And everybody did. We didn’t have much money but we could still dance and have fun.

“Make Me Your Baby” played on the radio as my boyfriend and I “made out” in the back seat of a car. I was supposed to be doing laundry at the Laundromat for my mother, and yes, the clothes were washing inside. He thought he was “The Leader of the Pack.” My boyfriend was so cute and virile; I didn’t think anything about him being eight years older than me. With the life I lived I always felt older than my age anyway. Taking care of my younger brothers and one sister was what I did when I wasn’t at school. This was the closet thing to a real date that I got to go on. Before they could sing the song, “Sixteen Candles,” I said, “I’m Gonna Get Married.”

He didn’t look like a pervert when I met him. But at age fifteen did I really know what a pervert would look like? Sure, I’d had my fair share of experiences; the stepfather who tried to rape me, my Mom’s boyfriends who wanted to kiss me, the experience at the park where someone came up behind me in the dark, threw me on the ground and only left when I (not knowing what else to do) bit his tongue as hard as I could. I ended up with bruised lips but I’m sure he wished he had never stuck his tongue in my mouth, uninvited.

But this one? Well built, dark and handsome, gee, he looked like Prince Charming to me. How was I to know that perverts sometimes come in pretty packages? Five years down the road, when the beginning of the “marriage from hell” came about, I realized my “Prince” was a pedophile. And even though my daughter begged me to forgive him and get help for her beloved daddy, no amount of counseling, Doctor’s visits, (where I was told to give him more sex) or love, was going to keep us together. Yes, Captain and Tennille had already sung that song by then.

The damage was done. I didn’t find out until I was in the midst of the divorce proceedings, that he had started her on the road to drugs. She is 42 years old now and has just begun to reclaim her life instead of staying on the addictive cycle he started her on. When I was getting the divorce my counsel didn’t advise me to bring charges but some years later, my daughter and I did help to put him in prison. Even though one of his favorite songs when we were dating in 1966 was “I Fought the Law and the Law Won,” he wasn’t singing now. And I didn’t need a song by Nazareth to tell me “Love Hurts.”

Or the Eagles to tell me he had “Lyin' Eyes.” I only wish I had listened seriously to Paul Simon as he sang “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” a few years back.

But God is good. To the strands of “Annie’s Song” I married “Bill” and “Don’t Go Breakin’ MY Heart” was my inner cry. He is truly my “Handy Man!” He gave me “Respect” and I reminded him often, “She Loves You.” He is my “Bridge Over Troubled Water” and “This Girl is a Woman Now,” for sure. Although “You Are So Beautiful to Me” is one of my favorite songs, Bill doesn’t sing, but if he would let me I would sing it to him. He has been a wonderful father to four daughters and helped to mend my broken heart.
Life has tried to take the song and dance out of my heart but I am determined that I will not let that happen. The main thing that has gotten me through 58 years of being a Boomer Woman is the enduring strength of faith I found as a young girl in that little country church, and the love of family and friends. I have found that music and dance are powerful weapons against the enemy who wants to steal our joy. When the battle is raging around you, let the music arise in you. My wish for all Boomer Women is so aptly put in Lee Ann Womack’s song, “I Hope You Dance,”

I hope you still feel small

When you stand by the ocean

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens

Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

Remember the music that got you through your “Boomer Years.”

Donna Collins Tinsley copyright 2010

"I Know Why the Angels Dance."

"Make them dance again!" is a quote from the book by Bryan Davis' book, "I Know Why the Angels Dance." All workers in ministry should have knowledge of this quote and what it means and I pray there will be angels dancing in heaven today in honor of souls won the Lord.



I can't help but picture in my mind Bryan and Susie Davis as the parents in the fiction novel and one of the most beautiful parts had me weeping this morning as I read the prayer the mother in the story prayed over a little girl in the hospital. You'll find it on pages 248 and 249. I know only a man who has heard a wonderful woman of God pray like this can write like this. My other favorite parts, never really having a father while growing up, are the sweet moments of tenderness that are displayed to his daughter. Bryan is giving all proceeds from this book to charity.

http://www.daviscrossing.com/angels.htm