The Essence of Rosemary

The Essence of Rosemary (Something I wrote some years back about Rosemary Upton, the best writing mentor ever:) She went to be with the Lord yesterday.

The Essence of Rosemary

     She is as fragrant with the Lord’s essence as the name Rosemary itself, implies. My writing mentor has made such an impact on my life and the lives of many others, with her gentle words and encouragement. Yet there is so much more to this woman that few of us ever glimpse.

     Only looking at her from afar I would’ve never known from whence she came. Yes, we all have a story, but how many of us dig deep or take the time to listen to each one? Even those we love sometimes get by-passed because we don’t take the time to listen to them or do the research.

     I first met Rosemary at Winning Women where she was serving on the Board. Many of the ladies at our Pt. Orange Bible study were signing up for her Writing Strategies Course. “No, Lord, that is not for me, putting my life and thoughts on paper. I’m sure everyone else is more educated and talented and there is no reason for me to go," was my first response. Although I could see Rosemary was a talented and educated woman with such finesse, I bypassed the class.

     But over the years the Lord was prodding my heart and at a certain time I decided to take the course. Procrastinator that I am I decided against turning in any assignments or attending the monthly Critiqueshop.

     But for the Lord………..and Rosemary.  As I read her books and came to know her, I was compelled to write and go to the excellent critique meeting each month at her home. She chisels her critique with kindness and encouragement that has helped me be tenacious in spite of my lack of education and many obstacles at home.

     The next year I was faithful to Critiqueshop, bringing my small, amateurish offerings.  Among the people in my group consistently at that time, were an editor, a published author and speaker, a retired missionary doctor, a local professor and a published author who I’m sure must have a genius IQ. There I was, a homemaker who aspired to write. My education was in the school of life. What was I doing there? Didn’t I know I was out of my league? At times I had to force myself out the door of my home to go to the meeting. But Rosemary has always been my biggest encourager in the field of writing and the things I have learned in her presence will forever be ingrained in my heart.
      One of our dear Critiqueshop members, Kistler London has moved away but in correspondence I was able to glean some of Rosemary’s story.
      Rosemary was raised in a mostly Irish family, whose father worked with his hands. She and Hugh married at age nineteen and raised two children. She assisted her husband in a career that started with his working in his parent's one small motel that he eventually built into a business empire based on Christian principles. The development of their business ventures was directly tied to their discovering much more freedom in Christ than was "allowed" in their home church in a northern state. Hugh eventually rose to President of the hotel/motel association (state, maybe even national), and she was his gracious "first lady." Although Rosemary couldn't wait to get out of high school, where the thing she most enjoyed was leading her own troop of prize-winning majorettes, she later thirsted for more education, eventually getting her MA in Biblical Studies. She served as a counselor for CBN, watched her daughter go through partial lung removal surgery, saw her mother through eight years of Alzheimer's (and wrote a book that still helps caregivers), and has a generous and tender heart.

     She played a considerable role in developing Sunset Harbor alongside her
husband, Hugh. These High School Sweethearts have been married over fifty years now and each supports the work of their mate. Rosemary credits her husband with helping her realize her gift of a writer long before she was officially published, when at a social function involving a lot of business people Hugh introduced her by saying, "This is my wife, the writer."
     Rosemary has said, "My attitude is that any one I meet may be a better
Christian than I am," and that quote has captured my heart as the way we all should live. It shows a truly humble heart and I believe it is the essence of Christ and the essence of my dear friend and mentor, Rosemary Upton. I will be forever grateful to our Savior for the things I have learned in her presence.

Donna Collins Tinsley 2005

If found a poem written by Rosemary in some of my files yesterday. It is called Sustained or Detained.
Sustained or Detained
If you don't mind, just let me be

I want to die in dignity

No life machines to breathe for me

No fancy drugs to set me free,

No hovering about my bed.

No tubes hooked up by which I'm fed.



For traveling has always been

An exciting, frenzied spin,

And this last rip to which I'm called

Must not be stopped

Or stayed, or stalled.

My master and myself agree,

I'm ready for eternity!

Rosemary Upton from Glimpses of Grace
 
Kistler London, an editor and writer, who was a wonderful part of our Critiqueshop for years, filled me in on information about Rosemary.

American Pen Women  Bio-sketch

By Kistler London

Who¹s Who in Daytona Beach Branch (2001)

Rosemary Upton (Active, Letters) has been a member of the Daytona Beach
Branch since 1989 and has served as Chaplain, President, and Secretary.

She worked as a draftsman in her early career. Later she earned a BA in
Theology and an MA in Biblical Studies.

Rosemary¹s published short works‹stories, poetry, plays, skits, radio
commentaries, and articles‹deal with moral issues. Her first book, Glimpses
of Grace, A Family Struggles with Alzheimer's, was published by Baker Books
in 1990.

The Court and the Kingdom, released by Harold Shaw Publishers in 1993, was
republished by Guideposts Condensed Books in 1995 and again as Joanna
(Guideposts Hardcover) in 1997.

She uses her talents in communication as counselor, teacher, speaker, and
writer. Rosemary also read Glimpses of Grace for the audio version published
in 1998.

She hosted a monthly Critiqueshop made up of students from her courses,
Writing Strategies for the Christian Market and/or Building the Novel. She
is listed in Novel & Short Story Writer's Market and Christian Writers'
Market Guide. <!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->
<!--[endif]-->

All the Flowers Book Review

Is "All the Flowers:" love story, a dysfunctional family story, a story of faith, and a heartrending story of war while viewing things on the home front or all of the above?
Tom Milton beautifully wove so many subjects into the story that could even be a history lesson to the younger generation about the Vietnam era, with the setting in New York in 1967. I remember that era well as it was the year I gave birth to my first child.

Those of us who have family members that served in that war, know that the ones who returned home have never been the same.
The love story that evolved between Teri Ryan, a hauntingly talented singer and Andre Malinowski, a gifted pianist is beautiful to behold. I was reminded of beautiful recitals that I have attended in my life, as my own grandmother taught piano and I loved thinking about the beautiful music interwoven in the story. Andre's character was a very loving, supportive man who gave up opportunities that would have enhanced his own career to always be there for Teri. She was also a leading basketball player on the college's team and has a twin brother. The story also portrays the great love Teri has for her brother and how she wants him to avoid going to Vietnam.

I was not too familiar with Catholicism and got a bit of an education with their beliefs and habits also. The characters of the nuns and their relationship with the students and involvement with antiwar activities were very interesting. I was surprised at the use of some profanity in the book but of course the subject matter of war is profane. I think it could’ve gotten by without it, personally.
There were times at the first half of the book that I actually thought there was a little too much dialogue if that can be possible. I felt that sometimes I wasn't sure who was speaking.

But I think something captured me especially in the last quarter of the book and made me a fan. The only issue I have was on page 246 when Andre imagined what had just happened with nothing saying if it was proven that was what happened by the Police. Tom Milton and All the Flowers brought me to tears several times with this story I was happy to find it to be about reconciliation of families and hope for the future in the end. I'll be reading more of Tom's books in the future. "I know my Redeemer liveth" a beautiful theme from beginning to the end of the book.
Donna Collins Tinsley, wife, mother and grandmother, lives in Port Orange, Florida and has been included in several magazines and book compilations. Find her at Facebook, http://thornrose7.blogspot.com/ or join Somebody’s Mother Online Prayer Support Group at http://www.facebook.com/groups/119408188089314?id=244911885538943

Please email her at Thornrose7@aol.com /
I received this book free from BOOKCRASH as part of their Blogger Review program. I was no asked to write a positive review and the opinions expressed are entirely my own.

I am disclosing this in accordance with the FTC 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.

Homelessness in our own back yard

If you didn't see 60 Minutes last night, you should check this out. Hard times for so many yet I see survivor material especially in these kids. They show gratitude for their lot in life, even living in a truck.


We are among many who have been hit hard by the construction downfall in our area. But thank the Lord, Bill had already paid off our home by paying a little extra each month so we retired our mortgage early. We have not walked a mile in the shoes of the homeless but this program gave a good idea of the suffering that so many are experiencing.
I urge you to please watch this video and also rethink how you perceive the homeless among us. My husband Bill has always said many families are just a few paychecks away from the threat of this. Many of us have family members that have been out of work for months or even years. This is the reality of American families today. Pray, pray and pray some more and then count your blessings today if you have a real roof over your head.

I was in tears when I watched this one:

In our own back yard; http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-18560_162-57330802/hard-times-generation-families-living-in-cars/?tag=currentVideoInfo;videoMetaInfo
I think an old devo I wrote goes along with this.

Christmas Shoes
If you walk a mile in my shoes, you know how I feel, what makes me hurt, what gives me joy; and I, if I tried your shoes on would I say, “These aren’t so bad? These are nearly pain free, nearly a perfect fit?” But are they? Have I walked a mile in a widow’s shoes, as she longs for the familiar comfort of the one who used to lie beside her at night? Or a mile in the shoes of someone who has had the health stripped from their body and would give anything to have a portion of the quality of life I enjoy? Have I walked a tenth of a mile in a homeless person’s worn shoes as he endures the scorching heat coming up from the pavement and bathes in the cold water of public restrooms for lack of better?
Have I lived through losing family at the 9/11 tragedies or had my home demolished by the flooding waters of a hurricane? Looking over the local obituaries it seems that a higher number than usual of deaths are recorded. It seems to be even sadder when a hit-and-run driver takes one suddenly in their youth, as happened recently to some friends. Christmas coming dose not alleviate the normal pains of life that we go through.
We celebrate the birth of One qualified to know what it feels like to walk a mile in our shoes. Born lowly, he lived a life of submission to God’s will, and took what should’ve been our walk up a lonely hill to death on a cross. He has walked more than a mile and left a trail of tears; His tears intermingling with mine, we share sorrow, we share love, we share life.

Some Christmas’s are painful. When the tears I have cried are stored in His bottle, and I am drained, He becomes my Restorer, my Strength. When I complain, the way is dark, and not what I expected or hoped for; He shows me a new path out of the wilderness. A new path for the world-weary shoes that I wear-- that He wore first.

Thanksgiving and Complications

I think the word for today is complications; families are complicated, hurting, sad, broken yet our Lord is Lord over the complications! This we will believe in our darkest night of the soul, in the most complicated issues, in the wildest storm, You Jesus Christ our God and Father are Lord over the complications. You know the beginning from the end, the Alpha and Omega, the beautiful pattern of tapestry. Why would we think we can go through life pain-free when you suffered ultimately? Though it doesn't make us feel good to go through things, we know we have fellowship with Your suffering. We will believe the report of the Lord today that this is the day that He has made and in that we can find some small thing to rejoice in. Everyone reading this has the gift of life, everyone reading this is able to find someone to bless in some small way, if not a large way, everyone reading this can be thankful for something today. If we have lost family members thank the Lord for those we have left, if we are in pain in one part of our body, thank the Lord for the parts that don't hurt, if we don't have an abundance of provision thank the Lord for what we do have. It is a "give thanks" day and we don't have to wait until Thursday for Thanksgiving

Does your burden exceed your ability to carry it?

Matthew 11:30 "For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Job 22:21 " Agree with God, and be at peace; thereby good will come to you."
Do we agree that only by letting go and letting God we can have peace? Yet we still strive to have that control of our families to try to shape them into the family of our dreams. As we pray for our will instead of what may be the Lord’s will we just prolong the pain and the painful situations that have to come about so that each one will yield to the Lord and His desires for them.

Here is an old post from Ras Robinson, that I found in my files:

Your burden exceeds your ability to carry it. I have come to lighten your load, set you free and release the peace and blessings for which you have longed. Your answer is already written in your heart. Therefore, agree with your heart concerning this truth. Roll your burden over onto Me and I will carry it for you. But you battle within you that this is not right. That is a lie from Satan. Don't believe it. Now, raise your hands towards Heaven and give me the burden. Refuse to take it back. Watch and see that good will come to you. Don't forget to give thanks and tell your testimony. Ras Robinson July 28, 2007

And another good, but old word from What the Lord is Saying Today, it still works for me, years down the road:

You are salt and light in this time of darkness for so many. You have little idea of the power I placed within you to lift up the downcast and comfort the brokenhearted. But I tell you today, that I have sent you to help, that you might reach out and lift up heads. You are the very extension of My love and comfort. You are My hands, My loving eyes and touch. My desire for you is that you would be like Titus so that wherever you go, you spread comfort upon comfort. It is within you, stored up and ready for release. Now go and do it, in My name. July 26, 2007 Ras Robinson
2 Corinthians 7:5-7. "But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the coming of Titus, and not only by his coming but also by the comfort with which he was comforted by you, as he told us of your longing, your mourning, your zeal for me, so that I rejoiced still more."

A different kind of post: CMA award night

A different kind of post for me but I am a Southern girl by birth and my roots run deep.


Sugarland and Matt Nathanson bring hot to a new level and proves you don't have to take your clothes off to be sexy. (A really good pre-wedding night video.) They are too cute together. You notice she doesn't go anywhere in those stiletto heels but she gets the job done. They are dressed in regular clothes but it works for them. That song is going places:) Like my I-pod:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvdX5yMHvxc

Gordon and Norma Yeager; may their tribe increase!

This story is so poignant because it seemed this couple just loved to be together. They took "Till death do us part" to a new level. I especially loved this part of the article:

Gordon died at 3:38. But people in the room at the time say they were confused when Gordon stopped breathing, but his heart monitor continued to pick up a heartbeat. That was when they realized that the monitor was detecting Norma’s heartbeat, through their clasped hands.
“And we thought, ‘Oh my gosh, Mom’s heart is beating through him,’” Dennis Yeager said.
Norma died an hour later.
“Dad used to say that a woman is always worth waiting for,” Dennis Yeager said. “Dad waited an hour for her and held the door for her.

What a beautiful thought of him standing at Heaven's gates, holding the door open for her. Would that there be more men so in love with their wives, that it could be said of them. And that her heart was shown beating through him was beautiful. Watch the You-tube with pictures; you will be blessed.
Read more: http://blog.beliefnet.com/news/2011/10/couple-married-72-years-dies-an-hour-apart-holding-hands.php#ixzz1cSF1lAsS

Winning Women for Christ Retreat

I am grateful to be home from GA and the Winning Women for Christ Retreat at St. Simon's. The Lord was near to all and as always He showed me that there are so many hurting families that need His touch in a mighty way. Addictions, family disharmony, hurts and so many prayer requests abounded there and it confirmed my belief that there are no perfect families, just a lot of us as a work in progress. The highlight of the Retreat for me was hearing the beautiful, transparent testimony of Linda Froman. What a survivor she is! And as always attending early morning prayer led by my mentor, Anita Smith and attending the coolest mini-session ever by Kathy Sinex Thomas. I was just bummed that I wasn't able to attend Laurie Barker Copeland's session but since I was doing mine at the same time it was impossible. Sharon Jaynes was an awesome speaker with a lot to glean from; I'll be pondering those messages for a long time.
Thanks to my daughter, Shiloh for setting up the room as a type of construction zone and cheering me on, when I felt inadequate. I pray that the Lord will show me His next best plan for me and that I can do as this quote says, "The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." ~ Anaïs Nin

Love is a Verb Devotional and Winning Women Retreat

It was so cool to get my contributor's copy of:
Love is a Verb Devotional: 365 Daily Inspirations to Bring Love Alive [Hardcover] Gary Chapman (Author), James Stuart Bell (Author) I was honored to be included with so many others, including one of my favorite editors, Jeanette Gardner Littleton.
http://www.amazon.com/Love-Verb-Devotional-Daily-Inspirations/dp/0764209701/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1318514159&sr=1-1
 
I will be leaving for GA in the morning to take part in a Winning Women for Christ Retreat. Here is part of my mini-session where I mention our somebody's Mother Online Prayer Support Group in “Dancing Through the Minefields of Life.” It is part testimony/part Bible Study:

As a family member we may feel like our problems are the worst ones anyone faces. The pain that our heart feels would indicate that, “Yes, they are the worst, no one knows what I am going through!” On the "Somebody’s Mother Online Prayer Support Group" we get letters every day of people crying out with so many problems. People in pain either in their body or their minds as they wrestle with family issues. So many of them deal with addictions and the addicts in their lives. Yet the family pain of your own children’s problems, even adult children, when they go through divorce, addictions and heartache can be overwhelming. As a parent you may want to shield them especially when you see your grandchildren hurting as a result; it is a most difficult dilemma.

Sometimes we feel like saying, "God take me, now, I can't bear it any longer!" or even better, "Come quickly Lord Jesus!" as Revelation 22:20-21 says: "He which testifies these things said, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus."

We have to put our loved ones Into His hands today and Pray (which is the #1 step) to be able to dance the dance of the survivor. The survivor dance might be likened to “The Stomp.
https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/119408188089314/

The Good, Upscale Doctor

I believe this story is one that many mothers and fathers will relate to, and I dedicate it to the good work by Barbara Theodosiou founder of The Addict's Mom and her wonderful team, Somebody's Mother online Prayer Support Group and the Substance Abuse Community Force.

The Good, Upscale Doctor

The Good, Upscale Doctor

"18-year-old son died of overdose, Grieving mother pushing Oxy ban,

RX for trouble: Painkiller abuse plagues society, Falling short in fighting addiction," these all were either headlines or editorials recently in our local newspaper. They say in the State of Florida seven people die daily from overdoses of prescription meds.



Until it hits home in your own family, headlines like these will not affect you. It will be somebody else's child, not your own; it doesn't affect you. You can put down people like that, thinking they may be the scum of the earth, not even realizing that some of those children started off like your own kids. Just living their life, going to school, thinking about college and their careers. Then the tragedy of addiction hits the family.



 It may have been a legitimate pain issue, they may have had surgeries young and pain issues that seemed beyond control. You as a parent may have questioned the expensive upscale doctor, voicing aloud to him your concerns. "Why such high pain killers so soon? Aren't morphine patches something given to hospice patients? Will my child still need these medications if they have surgery?"



He immediately tried to pacify you, "It isn't addictive, and it is something they can take their whole life through if necessary."



You weren't convinced, yet who were you? Did you have as many degrees as this doctor? Isn't he noted in the community for his work? Didn't he say he’d do the same treatment for his own daughter or son if in your shoes? It wasn't long before the teen that was in pain was of legal age to continue with the doctor without your consent. And sooner than later the things you were concerned with came about. That is why we have painkiller abuse in our society. I don't have to name names; there are legions in our State and country that were writing prescriptions at that time, with no concern for the long-term outcome, which in most cases was addiction.  



Prescription medicine addiction is a real dilemma in our society and it isn't getting any easier to decide who is right and who is wrong. Of course, I can understand when someone is in dire need of medications that they shouldn't be denied. I am not against doctors who truly must help those who suffer with chronic pain; I am all for good medical care. Yet the utmost scrutiny should be given to doctors that write painkiller prescriptions, too many, too soon. Look at the recent celebrity deaths and the doctors that were a part of each one! We have become such a drugged-up nation; sometimes I wonder if anyone knows real people anymore or are they just someone either doped up or a facade of that person you used to know and love?



Addiction itself has been described as cunning, baffling, and powerful by AA and Al-Anon groups. That means to me that the person becomes so cunning in taking care of their addiction that it is second nature to them to use any form of manipulation to get their source of relief. It baffles the ordinary person to find this such a powerful influence in our loved one. The person you once knew and loved seems to be gone from you forever and you can only hand the problem over to a loving God who alone can bring help for the true pain; the pain that painkillers will never cover.



Try not to judge harshly; statistics say addiction hits all families and social-economic groups before long.  You wouldn't want to walk a mile in the shoes or the grieving mother or father, rehash in your mind what you could've or should've done, or be in the body of the addict who became addicted following doctor's orders. Yes, the good, upscale expensive doctor is of no help now. Only the healing hand of the Great Physician can have mercy on this kind of hurt.

We go to the Word of God for help and comfort.

  Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
   for his compassions never fail.
 They are new every morning;
   great is your faithfulness.
 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
   therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:22-24 (New International Version, ©2010)

I see in this verse that God truly started the “One day at a time” movement long before Bill W. came up with it. We wait on His compassions and healing for our families! 

 Another version that might help:



 I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
   the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
   the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
   and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

 God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
   his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
   How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
   He's all I've got left.

 God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
   to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
   quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
   to stick it out through the hard times.

When life is heavy and hard to take,
   go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
   Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
   The "worst" is never the worst.

 Why? Because the Master won't ever
   walk out and fail to return.

Lamentations 3:19-33 (The Message)

We have a faithful God to whom we can trust our family’s problems and issues.

Please send your prayer requests to the Somebody's Mother Online Prayer Support Group:)
https://www.facebook.com/groups/119408188089314/?id=281112801918851