You Are Wanted, Today and Always

I know that I have gone way too long without updating my blog. Today though, I want to feature a friend and writer who has expressed herself so well and I glean from her often. It is through trials and pain that we all grow and learn to lean more on our Lord. He is ever faithful. I had never heard the song that is on the link here but I feel that there are many today who need to take this message deep into their heart. I welcome Elaine Creasman today and her post, You Are Wanted:

http://elainecreasman.wordpress.com/2013/08/17/you-are-wanted/

 

I want to add a note to those who feel broken today. The Lord, the great God who made the universe and everything within it loves you and He only can fill the broken heart and make you whole. Let Him be the healing balm that you need for each hurt, pain and sorrow. Praying every day in every way for each of you.

Disney-World Christianity and When Your Rope Breaks

 So many books, so little time, is always my motto. I can't wait to have the heavenly home of my dreams where there is time to read all the books I would like to read. A really good non-fiction book I'm reading is "When Your Rope Breaks."

 

One chapter talks about Disney-World Christianity. It seems to be true that many people try to say that if you accept the Lord then all will be well in your life. The very opposite is true for many and they really don't know what to do when all hell breaks out in their family. Although it is very true that the enemy comes to kill, steal and destroy it is not comforting to be walking in the midst of his attacks.

 

Ask the mother who has lost her child to suicide how she felt when her rope broke. Ask the father whose little princess suddenly changed and didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore or the mother who is afraid her daughter's pill addiction will end her life if they believe in "Disney World Christianity."

 

I say work on getting better, not bitter as bitterness is a cancer for the soul.  Ephesians 4:31 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice”

Three quotes I loved in this book are:

 "One of the great problems as believers is that some of us think nothing bad will happen to us when we begin to follow Christ. Some feel that God is in the business of preventing tragedy and are devastated when their ropes break. They become bitter. You see, they have not prepared themselves by learning sound doctrine and studying the Bible seriously. Disney-World Christianity may work in a world where everything is clean and fun and right. But it simply won't work in a world where there is disease, death and heartbreak. You've got to have a tough faith for a tough world."

"Understanding that everything comes from God and praising Him for it is an effective way to prevent bitterness. Learn to thank God in the little things like traffic jams, late appointments, crying children, angry husbands and burnt toast. Then when the rope really breaks you will have established a hedge against bitterness."  

“We ought to pray: Father, here I sit with my broken rope and I’m angry. Bitterness wells up in me, and I don’t know what to do about it or even if I want to do anything about it. I now take the situation I don’t like, and I give it to You. You deal with the situation as You see fit, and you deal with me as you see fit. I trust You to give me an explanation when I get to heaven, if I need one.” "When Your Rope Breaks" by Steve Brown

 For further reading this scripture brings the comfort that we need.

The Bible says: "Friends, when life gets really difficult, don’t jump to the conclusion that God isn’t on the job. Instead, be glad that you are in the very thick of what Christ experienced. This is a spiritual refining process, with glory just around the corner. If you’re abused because of Christ, count yourself fortunate. It’s the Spirit of God and his glory in you that brought you to the notice of others. If they’re on you because you broke the law or disturbed the peace, that’s a different matter. But if it’s because you’re a Christian, don’t give it a second thought. Be proud of the distinguished status reflected in that name!...So if you find life difficult because you’re doing what God said, take it in stride. Trust him. He knows what he’s doing, and he’ll keep on doing it." 1 Peter 4 The Message

 

http://www.amazon.com/When-Your-Breaks-Steve-Brown/dp/0801057299

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Don't They Just Quit? a book by Joe Herzanek is a must-read!

 

"Addiction is an equal opportunity destroyer" was the most profound quote written by Joe Herzanek in "Why Don't They Just Quit?" If you are a parent of an addict you will relate to that quote profoundly. This book should be in every home if addiction has challenged your family in any way. "Why Don't They Just Quit?" is a family education course in a very easy to read book with bold subtitles, questions and answers and others stories at the end. Hope is woven all through it. There are contemporary quotes throughout, and scripture is interwoven as well as comments from the family who went through the trenches with Joe Herzanek. He has paid his dues in addiction and recovery and has gone on to be a blessing to others through his work as an addictions counselor, as a chaplain at the Boulder County Jail and the president and founder of Changing Lives Foundation.

 

He portrays that there are many different ways to walk a recovery walk and gives help for both the addict and their loved ones. Chapter titles such as, Dying for a Cold One, Houston we Have a Problem, Siblings, the Forgotten Ones, Different Strokes for Different Folks, Drugs, the Gifts that Keep on Giving, Whole Person Recovery, and Relapse, Plan On It make for interesting reading.

 

One quote that is key "But no matter what happens, at some point addicts need to deal with their issues, move forward and take control of their future."

 

The Questions and Answers with Joe at the end is a resource in itself and he also includes a self-test for addiction and many stories and resources at the end.

 

I felt his family's presence while reading. His mother's comments as well as his ex-wife and oldest daughter were meaningful and I have a whole new respect for Judy who tirelessly advocates her husband's work. The pain she and his new family went through as he healed from Hep C was shown. There truly are always two sides to every story and Joe does well showing the other side also.

 

Another quote from Joe, "That was then and this is now, I can't change the past no matter how traumatic it may have been, but I can change the future." He mentions, "Some parents are willing to jump in and take the blame, convinced that there was something they could have done to prevent the problem. But when my mother would ask me why I used drugs, I'd just tell her the truth: I don't like the way I feel when I'm straight."

 

Joe also says, "At some point we all need to become willing to deal honestly with our stuff. When an addict confronts his own issues, he can start to put things into perspective and make peace with the past and with himself."

 

I'm a big fan of of this book and recommend it to professionals, family and friends.

Ready to be the Word of Healing to Someone?

Have you ever felt like you wanted to feel more "power" when you prayed? Have you ever wanted to be the one to have the healing touch that transforms the blind, lame or afflicted? Once when I prayed for a homeless person, the next time I saw him he said he had felt heat come through my prayer or touch. It seemed to have made a profound memory for him, but I didn't feel anything like that myself. I have always wanted to, though. I know when the lady healed by touching Jesus' garment reached out it is said that He felt virtue go forth from Him and healing power. "But Jesus said, "Someone deliberately touched me, for I felt healing power go out from me." May I say to you reading this blog that many of you have touched me deeply with your heartbreaking stories. I only wish that I had the healing power to help each one of you. You do have my heartfelt prayers for mercy and relief and comfort from our Lord.

 

 Today I read in Job 29:15-17:

 "I was eyes to the blind,
And I was feet to the lame.
 I was a father to the poor,
And I searched out the case that I did not know.
 I broke the fangs of the wicked,
And plucked the victim from his teeth."

 

I wish my life had this impact that Job's had in his lifetime. No, I don't really want to attain to what is commonly called, "The sufferings of Job" although there have been many times that I have felt a kindred spirit with that suffering. The key verse that stood out to me, was "I broke the fangs of the wicked, And plucked the victim from his teeth." 

 

I am thinking about young people today and the trap that the enemy has put before so many, a subtle but evil trap of addiction. It may have started of legitimately with a prescription from a doctor, it may have started off by peer pressure and it may have seemed cool at the time. But they don't realize they are in the fangs of the enemy and it can be deadly. To a twenty-year-old life holds no fears, death is something far off. But it is true as said recently by my oldest daughter, that "Cemeteries are full of twenty-year-old people who thought they would not die." Facebook pages are filled with stories written by the still grieving parents of many of these young, seemingly invincible adult children who took one drug, one time too many.

My prayer today is that many will, through prayer, go into the enemy's camp and deliver those who are in the fangs of the wicked. Their very life may depend on it.

Book Review challenging us to have the Courage to Change

Courage to Change (Grant Us Grace) (Volume 2) by Elizabeth Maddrey

I’m fast becoming a fan of Elizabeth Maddrey with her Grant Us Grace series.

I was surprised that the storyline centered on Allison but the transition from the first book was smooth and convincing.

I myself, wrestled with issues Phil was grappling with but since I had Biblical grounds for divorce the battle wasn’t as intense for me.

I feel like this series of books should be in each Crisis Pregnancy Center library as it is so informative about the help that is offered to women in a crisis pregnancy. The book examines all the pros and cons of adoption.

The element of suspense woven throughout the story concerning Phil’s ex-wife came to a dramatic conclusion at the end of the book. I was glad closure was found.

There were some sad and poignant parts as the characters portrayed life among real families. Families who sometimes want to control adult children and the painful interactions between parents and children. It also shows some of the prejudices that are prevalent even among church-going Christians.

There are very good resources listed at the back of the book as well as discussion questions for Book Clubs.

I’m looking forward to reading the next book in the series and would recommend this book to friends.

Donna Collins Tinsley

*I received this book from BookCrash and the publisher in exchange for my honest and fair review.

Father Hunger

“Father Hunger” hit me hard again at the small group meeting concerning the book, The Dance by Dan Walsh and Gary Smalley. Sometimes I can go months or even years without the deep, soul-wrenching father hunger and then something will strike my heart. Maybe just hearing about someone who just laid upon his father’s chest as a child, remembering the feel of his scratchy beard, or a father admitting that he failed in the fathering department. Knowing he can’t go back and change the past concerning his lack in parenting, he decides instead to be the very best grandfather he can be.

My father’s name was William Donald Collins. I haven’t seen him since I was about eight years old. I often wonder why he didn’t stay in touch with me; I’m not sure if he and my mama ever lived together. He was in the Army or Air Force and we stayed with my grandmother, Mary Ethel White Wirth. I was born on May 19^th, 1951 at Erlanger Hospital in Chattanooga, TN. The reason I am putting full names here is, maybe someone from my paternal family might see this and want to connect.

My mother’s name was Linda Lee Wirth Collins Reece Lewis; wow, that is a lot but most people knew her as Linda Reece in Florida, Linda Wirth in Chattanooga Valley. Everyone loved her hearty laugh and giving ways. Because she was so young, I think at times she nearly felt like I was her sister, and sometimes even her mother. Yes, we were a wildly dysfunctional family but there was always laughter in the mix. She used to say, “You have to laugh to keep from crying.” I have to agree with that one, Mama.  I miss the laughter especially now that you are gone.

I think the hardest thing for me to accept in going back to the “father hunger” was why did my paternal grandparents not look me up? That is my biggest question. After living life with an abusive first stepfather who ended up in prison and then the next was one an alcoholic for most of his life, I think I gave up on fathers. What if I found my own father and he was as bad as the rest? Why bother?

But even so, one time someone said they thought my biological dad was staying at a hotel on the beach in Daytona and wouldn’t you know, I was there looking. I saw someone who from a distance looked like those old black and white, tattered pictures and went running him down until as I got closer and I knew it wasn’t him. That was one of the times that I managed to bring tears to the eyes of my husband, Bill, as he said it was so sad to see me running after a father who never showed up for me.

Good news is my stepfather, John Lewis, that was married to Mama when she passed away did get sober in his later years. He really mellowed out. And although I never really partook of the “father” gift of my father-in-law, Pete Del CeCato because of the scars of my past, I must say he was a good one.

 I didn’t really think about that until the recent day this past May, he lay in a hospital bed and was dying.  As I laid my hands on his precious head, releasing him to the Lord, I realized that indeed, the Lord did put a good father figure in my life. “O Lord, Pete never hurt me, he never hurt my daughters; he was a good father. I never realized what I had in him, and now  it is too late.”

Because I had put walls around my heart in the father department, I never really let him be a “dad” to me. But to the ones that allowed him to be their dad, Bill’s sisters and brother, and our wonderful Phyliss who was his only biological child, a great gift was given.

This year will be the first Father’s Day he will be celebrating in heaven with our heavenly Father. We know that although many of us did not have that true “father” experience while here on earth the time in eternity together with the One True Father, Who Never Disappoints, will be a dream come true. And there will be no more father hunger for any of us who have experienced that pain.

Donna Collins Tinsley 2013

Restore Them to You

An old poem revisited dedicated to all you prayer partners and mothers and dads who need encouragement today. I actually feel like this is a song, but so far, I don't have a tune:)

Restore Them to You

 

Somebody’s Mother is praying

Hoping, God is hearing

What’s she’s saying

She’s on her knees begging,

 “I believe You can restore, Lord,

And make them pure again.

 

My children have went astray

Lord, how can they

 Live that way?

Spurning the love You give?

As if You don't exist.

 

I gave them a vision of You

Not perfect, But I tried,

You well know

The stresses of life

Seemed to rip us apart

As my dreams fell through

I clung to You

But they turned

The other way.

 

Oh Lord, how can they live that way?

How can I live loving them the way I do?

Wanting them to

Be Serving You

God, when will You

Make my dreams come true?

 

I'll not give up talking to You

Pleading, if that’s what I have to do

My children are precious gems

Not given for destruction

But You made them for peace

Not for the world but the Kingdom

 

Restore them to You,

Restore them to You,

Do what You must do,

Restore them to You.

 

The world gives darkness for light

The world shows pain as pleasure

A distorted view of fun

Satan has begun

To deceive

The elect’s offspring.

 

But all my children

Will be taught of the Lord

And great will be the peace of my children

As they walk with You

As they are restored to You

 

And they will say, “My Lord and my God”

It was You all along,

You've restored my song,

I will dance for You,

I'm restored to You,

Eternity is mine

 

 You were there all the time

Couldn't get you out of my mind,

I'm restored to You at last

I no longer live in the past

Or for this dark world.

 

It was You all along,

You've restored my song,

I will dance for You,

I'm restored to You,

Eternity is mine.

 

Somebody’s Mother is praying

Knowing, God has heard

What’s she was saying

You've restored my song,

And my children, too

I will dance for You,

I'm restored to You,

Eternity is ours.

 

Donna Collins Tinsley

Graduation Night can be Deadly

I was disappointed I couldn't get this into a newspaper by today; a version may appear next week, but to me that is a little too late for parents to get the word out. Since I don't have a huge following on my blog and it is not the same word count I am posting here:

Will your Child Survive Graduation Day?

Is there any family in the area or country that has not been affected by addictions or recreational drug use? I know my own has and because of this I seek education at The Substance Abuse Task Force meetings. There you will find people from every sector of the community, medical, educational, DCF, NOPE (The Narcotics Overdose Prevention & Education) and people of the Faith community, but the ones that have gripped my heart are the parents who have lost children.

One man introduces himself as the father of a dead child; in this case it was not an addiction problem but kids celebrating their graduation last year. How heartbreaking, and yet how many of us can say, "There but by the grace of God go I?"

When I met the grieving father after the meeting the only comfort I could give was to say I would pray for him, give him a hug and these words:

"I know when your son woke up the morning before he didn't think or plan, 'Tonight I will break my father's heart.'"

Although that was what happened, it was a horrible accident, of kids using one drug, one time too many. Young people are not thinking when they use recreational drugs; they are just doing it to fit in with their friends. In some small way, please get the word out, "One time may be one time too many."


Parents please talk to your children especially with Graduation Day approaching; I liken this conversation to being a watchman on the wall as portrayed here:
“Upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, I have appointed watchmen all the day, and all the night, they shall never hold their peace. You that are mindful of the Lord, hold not your peace.” (Isaiah 62:6 Douay-Rheims Bible)


Many of us try to prepare ourselves for the possibility of loss in our families, with recreational pills so prevalent in the younger generation. The statistics show that the national average is 50 people die a day in our country; we need to acknowledge we have a problem here, people, and educate our families. Common things in your home such as Pam, Nyquil and aerosol whipping cream can also be a source of misuse. I’ve learned about Pharma or Skittles parties where kids take medicines from their parent’s and grandparent’s medicine cabinets and throw them all in a bowl. The bowl is then passed around and the kids take some, not knowing what exactly they are taking. The potential for danger in the wrong drugs interacting is incredible!

Parents, friends and youth workers in the community be aware and take the time to talk to the youth that you love.

Their heart cried out to the Lord,
“O wall of the daughter of Zion,
Let tears run down like a river day and night;
Give yourself no relief;
Give your eyes no rest.
“Arise, cry out in the night,
At the beginning of the watches;
Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord.
Lift your hands toward Him
For the life of your young children…(NKJV) Lamentations 2:18-19

Join me in praying that the upcoming Graduation Days will be full of family joy instead of the truama of substance abuse.

This was written in memory of someone's son, Morgan Andrew Denney, who was taken off the life-support respirator on June 1st 2011.

Mother's Day 2013

So, Mother's Day is here again and for many people it is painful, especially if your mother has already passed from this world to glory. Plans for many have changed as sickness doesn't look at a calendar. I am grateful that Bill had some things in his heart to do for me, but gave those plans up to help in another way:) Because of the death of my precious father-in-law this week, I have not been able to post much. Death, also doesn't note calendar days, it seems:) Another repost of a thought I am calling Donna's Daily Dose:
Some families are estranged and hurting and waiting for their miracle. They pray, they long for the “happy family” scenario that is portrayed in the media. They come to realize they are powerless and only the Lord’s power can truly show what is His perfect will. We fall down and we get up, sometimes we feel like we are smacked down and no one sees us. No one sees the heart of love, no one sees the tears, but no, the Lord has them bottled in precious urns in the heavens, not one falls that He does not notice. That’s the kind of God we serve, a savior kind, who will heal in His timing.

Who loves what some deem unlovable and forgives and wraps us in His righteousness. I can relate to what Paul says, when he said he was chief of sinners. I’ve asked the Lord to remind me so that I can remember that others hurt too and have gone through much loss and pain. I have many regrets as a mother; maybe there are some others here that do, also. But He has promised to make all things work to my good, not because I’m good, I am not, but because I love Him. He loved me first and drew me with cords of love and redemption.

If He can do it for such that I am, watch out! He will be Your strong support today, if you will give it over to Him. That’s what I am trying to do, when I can’t do anything else. Sometimes just taking the next step may be the hardest thing you can do and the bravest also. Then maybe as we walk towards His will for us (and sometimes that is not easy to understand or even know,) His Holy Spirit arrives and that wind will revive us.
A prayer and a song is what I offer today: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mmgV6mPvb0

The Apostle Paul, A Do-Over and a Letter to Somebody’s Mother Prayer Support Group

Today in honor of National Day of Prayer, I scanned through our member’s pictures, praying for each one. We are a beautiful, sometimes motley, crew. I say that with the same love I use describing some of my own family pictures.

There are a few brave men among us, but mostly we are just mothers praying, loving, and living as best as we can for the Lord. We stand on His Word, always. We try to love as He does; sometimes it isn’t always relayed as that. I was thinking of the Apostle Paul this morning and how when he had blinders on, before the Lord truly blinded him on the road to Damascus, he thought he was doing the right thing, by murdering Christians. No one could tell him different. He was doing justice in his own eyes. He was living his life in a way that he thought was the plan of God when the Lord’s plan was different. It was a way to make a Romans 8:28 life, a life where all things work together for good.

“ Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples. He went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

“Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.

“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.” Acts 9:1-6 (NIV)

When Saul (Paul) was blinded he didn’t know if he would ever get his sight back, he was at the mercy of the Lord and all those who would guide him where he needed to go. He had no idea that his path would soon be to proclaim Jesus, every day in every way. He had no idea that Christians down the centuries would read his writings and be encouraged. Only the Holy Spirit can open eyes the way that Paul’s eyes needed to be opened.

Many of us have blind spots. We pray that the Holy Spirit open our eyes and the eyes of our loved ones. Then the true power will come and chains will be broken and families healed. Yes, it is true that the Lord creates families in many different ways, some by birth, some by blood and some by adoption. He is the one who places us. I wanted a daddy like on “Father Knows Best” or “Little House on the Prairie.” That didn’t happen. I am grateful the Lord chose to adopt me, as I never really felt a father’s love. I melt into my true Father’s arms of love, not being able to get close enough, stay long enough or sing loud enough about that love.

I know that for many people it was hard to trust Paul and that he had changed. Don’t you know that he had a past to live down a past that in his mind, I’m sure many times, he would ponder? He may have said, “Oh Lord, how could I have watched them stone dear Stephen, Your beloved child, and think that was a good thing?”

“Lord, I have killed families of people who loved you!”

“Lord, I wish that I hadn’t done those things. I wish I hadn’t lived that way for so long. I wish I could do it over!”

Later on we read that Paul was a chosen vessel to bear the Lord’s name. And perhaps his thorn in the flesh was bearing the pain of the things he had done in his past. I hope that he was able to accept that the Lord looks at the heart. That is the only way I can get over regrets is thinking that if someone could just look into my heart, they would know that I would never intentionally hurt anyone.



Many of us live with regrets; acceptance is the only thing that will get us through the day. The Lord knew our futures when we were walking in our past. He knew the plans He had for us for hope. He knew He loved us. He has a plan. Sometimes I admit, I don’t like His plan because it has been painful. I want to wave a magic wand and make everyone well, happy and whole. Life doesn’t work that way, dear ones. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, it is for sure, as my Mama would say. Think Corrie ten Boom, (“There is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still”) think Joni Eareckson Tada, think Joan of Arc, (“Hold the cross high so I may see it through the flames!”) think perhaps even yourself, a survivor finding your way on this journey. Maybe you are like me, and wish you had done something better as a mother, wishing you could be like the perfect ones you see around you. I always come back to this:

All our stories will not be the same; they don’t all end “happily ever after.” What does that woman do, when all the Christian books end with a happy ending, and her life seems full of pain? Where is the comfort for that daughter of God?

What do you do when everything you dreamed for your family seems to fall apart? What do you do when your heart keeps getting broken, yet you want to glorify the Lord in your circumstances? Even though there are some good things in your life, emotional pain and trauma seems to follow you. It sometimes is all you can do to literally place one foot in front of the other and do the next thing.

The refreshing that you long for in the Lord just does not come. And the breaking seems to come faster without much relief in between. You sometimes wonder if you will have the strength to go on. Not everyone will get their “happy ending” perhaps in the way they dreamed it. But life can still be good and we can still look for good regardless of our circumstances. I started off this blog as I surveyed the pictures of our prayer group, thinking how different each person is, but they are loved.

Some have lost children, husbands, parents, some have children in prison, some are living with addictions, and some are just fellow sojourners bonded by prayer. Remember today, if you don’t remember anything else from the blog that Jesus is our answer for everything. And together we are strong.

Keep praying and keep loving.

I encourage you to read Acts, especially chapter nine where some of these verses are found.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/119408188089314/

Donna Collins Tinsley