Race Week and Racing to the Throne of God

It's Race Week in Daytona Beach Florida and I'll let you in on something I am working on before we race to the throne of our Lord. There is an offer of a free poem at the end if you sign up to follow this blog, so don't stop reading until the end.
Somebody’s Mother devotional is a compilation of devotions, vignettes, and musings to jump-start your day as you, a mother (or grandmother) learn to take better care of yourself amidst the chaos of dealing with life, dysfunctional relationships and adult children with addictions.

It will include the joys and pain of life from a mother and grandmother among you living a day at a time, letting go and letting God, learning and loving just like most of you.
Somebody's Mother Devotional invites you to take a deep breath, learn to treat yourself well and give yourself three weeks of concentrating on yourself. You need to refocus and realize that you dear one, are so worth it.


Let’s Pray:
Lord, Jesus, I come before you on behalf of mothers and grandmothers in need of a break, in need of some time with You, in need of refreshment.
Please cover each one with Your blood and protection and cover their loved ones, too. We don’t want to neglect the problems that are all around us, but we have come to the conclusion that we can’t “fix” adult children. We can only open our hands up to You and say, “They are Yours, Lord.” Heal, restore and work the miracles that only You can do.

I've updated this poem to be more inclusive as I strive to write a devotional It previously was called SOMEBODY’S DAUGHTER:)

SOMEBODY’S CHILD

Somebody’s child is hurting
Somebody’s child is in pain
Somebody’s child feels lost
Life isn’t worth what it has cost
Somebody’s child is using
Fighting memories
Of the abusing
Life is too cruel
To take sober
Wake me
When this is over
I just wanted to be
Somebody’s good child

Donna Collins Tinsley copyright 2013
For anyone who signs up to follow my blog http://thornrose7.blogspot.com/ and sends me an email at thornrose7@aol.com with Somebody's Mother in the subject, I will send them the responding poem called Somebody's Mother.

Free Article this weekend

I have an article called "Help, My Child is in Jail!" that I am offering free to people this weekend who sign up to follow my blog.


Here is an excerpt from the article which may be helpful to those on The Addict's Moms groups:

     If you are a mother I imagine you never thought you would ever receive a call from jail when that child was in your womb. In all your plans for your child, all your prenatal planning, all your hopes and dreams and prayers, this scenario never came to mind. But for countless parents, jail calls have become a reality. Domestic violence, driving under the influence of either prescription drugs, illegal drugs or alcohol, disorderly conduct; these things were never supposed to come into a Christian parent’s life, right?  Yet, they are sometimes part of life’s hard reality.

If you sign up then please email me at thornrose7@aol.com with "Help, My Child is in Jail!" as the subject.

Peace,
Donna

TGIF, People! This and That to End the Week

Some days it is just hard to figure out a subject to blog about. On those days I go to my old quote files. It was hard for me to want to update knowing the blog about my mama, “Mama Said,” would go by the wayside. I’ll probably end with some of my favorite quotes as I am trying to get in gear to go to the next Florida Christian Writer’s Conference at the end of this month. That is taking up a lot of my thoughts. Many times I feel I am way over my head there but then I so enjoy the whole experience that I can’t stay away.


TGIF, people:

“And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anis Nin

“I did not lose myself all at once. I rubbed out my face over the years washing away my pain, the same way carvings of stone are worn down by water.” (Amy Tan)

“Lord, I am willing to stay in this prison for the rest of my life if only I may know you. At that moment I was free.” Kari Torjeson Malcom


“Prayer is a working instrument that does certain things, just as a pencil writes and a knife cuts.” Eleanor Roosevelt
“In search of my mother’s garden, I found my own.” Alice Walker


“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” ~Winston Churchill

“A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it.”

--Anon.


“By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach.”

--Winston Churchill


“When you get to the end of all the light you know and it's time to step

into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things

shall happen: either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you

will be taught how to fly."~ Edward Tellar

And now, smile for this one, sounds like something my mama might have said:

“If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning” - Catherine Aird

Mama Said, updated in honor of my Mama

Reposting a story I wrote a while back. I am posting in memory of my Mama, Linda Lee Wirth Reece Lewis who went home to be with the Lord, 15 years ago, today. Some of you may have already read this, but I hope it is a keeper!


Mama Said

I woke up from the dream weeping, "I want my Mama!" I am 61 years old and she has been dead 15 years. Will the need to reconnect with the one who gave me life never end? Is the cry of grief endless?

I first experienced it on the day that she died. It is uncontrollable, inconsolable. Involuntarily, it came from my mouth. A piercing scream to match the piercing pain in my heart. But in my mind's eye, I flash back forty years. I heard that same scream coming out of my mother's mouth at the news of her mother's death. It is nearly a primitive sound.

I was assaulted with thoughts of things I felt I could have done or should have done. In previous months, Mama had stayed with us for a few weeks to recover from several surgeries. We were in close contact but the week before she passed away, my children had been sick and we didn’t get to see each other.

Our last conversation haunted me. We had always been close and I usually called to check on her every morning. It was about 8:10 AM. I was in the midst of Monday morning rush. “Hi Mom, I’m on my way to take the kids to school and thought I’d see how you are feeling and what you are up to.”

“I can’t talk now, the nurse is here,” Mama said. It was her routine house visit to check her post-surgery wound. How I wished I had said, "Call me when she leaves." Because of such a quick call I spoke no meaningful words and felt a lack of closure.

At her moment of death I thought I would be at her side. Although I reached the hospital before the ambulance got there with Mama she had already passed away at home in her own bed.

“Please let me go in,” I begged the nurse.

“A doctor has to check her first,” I was told. Assuming she was still alive, I waited; but Mama had died at home in her own bed the way she had wanted to go.

It was hard to accept not being with her at the end. I had always tried to be the "perfect daughter." As the oldest child wasn't that part of my job description? Yet I couldn't control the uncontrollable; there is a time to be born and a time to die.

Many times when I have a dream about her I wake up and try to think of all the happy times we had. Mama was raised in the Deep South and there was always an “old saying” coming out of her mouth. Mama used to say, "Men will go after anything in a skirt!" but I'm sure we don't want to go there. As a teenage mother, divorced two times, she was probably trying to keep me from repeating her mistakes.

It wasn't easy for Mama to raise four children under the age of nine alone when my stepfather was put in prison. Her own mother and father had already passed away, and she was left on her own when she bypassed advice to put us in a children's home until she could get her life together. Although, she was a high-school dropout she was smart enough to know it could take a long time, and she wasn't going to be without her children if she could help it. I will forever be grateful that we were kept together as a family. Just sixteen when I was born she was quite a survivor! She loved to dance and I remember thinking what a pretty Mom I had as she danced to "Be Bop A Lula;" she adored Elvis, Dick Clark and the American Bandstand, and Chubby Checker, "Everybody do the twist." And everybody did.

Even though we moved often, she always worked and made sure there was food on the table. She had a lot of common sense and was so generous you would think she was a rich woman. Her employers loved her because not only could she work circles around everyone else, she made them laugh while she did it.

She used to say "It's a great life if you don't weaken," "You have to laugh to keep from crying,” and "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

And Mama always said, "What goes around comes around." That is wat I would like imitate. That is why I want to sow seeds of goodness, kindness and love because those are the types of things I want to come back to my family. Bless your children and they will bless you. Love your husband and see what a return you get. It is the principal of "sowing and reaping."
Mama also said, "Only the good die young." This must certainly be true. She died unexpectedly at age 62. Sometimes I try to imagine life with her still here. Many times I have gone over in my mind the things I wanted to do for her when she was alive. Whenever we have a family celebration or are eating at a restaurant, I am often wishing she were still alive and here enjoying herself. She loved to eat and used to say, "I'd rather die than not be able to eat what I want."

Diabetes helped that statement come true.

Mama, if I had you back for even one day, I would treat you like a queen. I would take you anywhere you wanted to go. I would make you whatever you liked for me to cook, carrot cake or the little fancy sandwiches for a picnic. We would find a “Po Folks” restaurant even if I had to drive you from Florida to Tennessee to do it. I would take you to a movie and to the flea market. I would rub your back with alcohol and then lotion and I would wash your tired feet with warm, scented water and my tears. I would pray a blessing upon you and show you how much I love you.

These are thoughts I have when I meditate on my mother. Our relationship had its ups and downs, but it is still the strongest bond on the earth, that mother-daughter connection. I will always remember the things my Mama said and it’s funny, but I seem to be saying a lot of them to my own daughters, now.

Unanswered Prayers

Have you ever prayed for something and the outcome was not what you wanted? I'm sure we have all had that experience at times. We had some prayers going on Somebody's Mother Online Prayer Support Group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/119408188089314/

this week and painfully the ones we were praying for, did not get the answer they wanted. There are so many things that cannot be explained. I pray that the prayers started will continue until the Lord draws everyone so close to Him, that nothing on this earth matters.

At times like these, we wonder where God is, sometimes. The first person I thought of was Carol Kent and how she and her husband, Gene, press on although they did not get their happy ending. I next thought of the parents of the children from Sandy Hook Elementary School and what they are having to live with each day, such loss.
Something I read this morning was good; from a dear woman I know through Winning Women and it was written in a book called, "Dear Daughters:"

"Help me, oh God, help me. Be with me, Jesus. I need you so. Show me Thy way. Tell me what to do, and I will do it. Send your love, your grace, your wisdom to me, for without it I am lost. Give me your strength Father. Illuminate my path. Keep my feet from stumbling. Let me not hinder, but only help every one of your children to see You, to follow You and let me not hinder myself. My dearest Love, who knows me better than I am known, hold me close to Your Heart, your Mind, your Will. Let me feel your hand in mine as I yearn with every sinew of my spirit to walk this life as you want me to. I am nothing dust in human form, so please help me. (Diane West Van Wert)

We live to walk another day, looking for a blessing when sometimes there seems to be none. We are survivors, from stock of survivors, we are grateful for many blessings and for that reason, we will live to praise this day.

As said in Hebrews 11 many died in the promise, many did not get the good answer while here on earth, many will be named as those of whom the world was not worthy. And as Job said, "Though he slay me, yet I will trust in Him." Some will turn away in pain and some will let that pain draw them closer to the only true Comforter in this world, Jesus. I pray that for each one who is hurting today, that you will let Him hold you, draw you and surround you.  

Unanswered prayers; yes, we all have a few. But instead of feeling that they were unanswered perhaps they are prayers in "God's Waiting Room" or even the Lord's throne room, saved for a better outcome that we cannot even imagine.

Donna Trivia, Romans 8:28 and a bit of Proverbs

Donna trivia: My oldest grandson turns 18 today and my youngest daughter turns 22 in a week. Life is always hectic when you have grandchildren and children so close to the same ages. I gave birth to my firstborn daughter at age 15 and I was pushing forty when Shiloh was born. I became a grandmother for the first time at age 33. My Mom was a grandmother at 31. Thankfully the cycle of early motherhood has been broken with my daughters, at least they have all been 18 or older when they gave birth. Shiloh is still a newlywed, not planning on children for a while and Ashley is still single. I have four daughters that are each unique and loved


More Donna trivia: This year I am committed to writing fiction for the first time. My nonfiction at times, in my writer's group has been known to make grown men cry. It always amazes me when that happens as I don't feel that I write for men. I wonder if Daytona Streets will ever be finished, but I will give it a try this year.
Prophecy many years back from the prophet Steve Scheffler, "You are a rose whose thorns will prick the hearts of men." That is where I came up with the screen name of thornrose7. Seven is my favorite number.


This week a woman emailed me and asked for prayer and help. I told her when I get down I try to do something for someone else and I also find a Bible verse to hold on to. Actually, this is what I wrote: “Keep Looking up and when you are lonely and needy, find someone else who is lonelier and help them:)

Hold on to a verse of scripture and keep praying. His timing is perfect.”

My life verse has been Romans 8:28 and I clung to that verse during a very painful first marriage and throughout the years I have always believed that the Lord will work things to my good and bring good from even the most painful things of my life. I would never try to hurt someone by giving this advice, as I have found both things to be true, helping others and holding on to a Bible verse; it is the law sowing and reaping. But somehow she felt bad by what I said and made it impossible for me to return a message back to her. Here is the scripture I would’ve written back and if you are still reading my posts, dear one, I hope this helps.

He won't brush aside the bruised and the hurt and he won't disregard the small and insignificant, but he'll steadily and firmly set things right.

Isaiah 42:3 The Message.

Another thing I go back to often is this quote:

"There is no pit so deep that He is not deeper still." Corrie Ten Boom

I'll end with another Facebook post that got a lot of good feedback:
For the sisters among us:) Something from Proverbs 31:26-31 for each of you, as an affirmation:

She speaks wise words

and teaches others to be kind.

She watches over her family

and never wastes her time.

Her children speak well of her.

Her husband also praises her,

saying, “There are many fine women,

but you are better than all of them.”

Charm can fool you, and beauty can trick... you,

but a woman who respects the Lord should be praised.

Give her the reward she has earned;

she should be praised in public for what she has done. (NCV)
Lord please affirm and lift up each woman who reads these words. Help them to be strong in You and to look forward and smile at the future regardless of what it holds. Help them to live to praise Your name, give grace where needed and strength for this day, each moment and hour we pray in Jesus precious name.

For This We Have Jesus.

Sometimes I am so sad for the heartaches of many among us. I remember a speaker whose main thought for each heartache and burden was, “For this we have Jesus.”


For the hurt of the daughter of my people I am hurt.

I am mourning;

Astonishment has taken hold of me.

Is there no balm in Gilead,

Is there no physician there?

Why then is there no recovery

For the health of the daughter of my people? NKJV Jer 8:21-22

Have you lost a loved one? “For this we have Jesus.”

Do you think you have failed as a parent? “For this we have Jesus.”

Are you lonely, feeling rejected? “For this we have Jesus.”

Do you think He has forgotten you? “For this we have Jesus.”

He is the balm for our souls and He is ever present through all that we go through in this life. He is the balm that heals us and our loved ones. He is the comforter for those who mourn. He is the answer to the addiction. He carries our loved ones home into His great Father arms when the pain of living this life is too much for them. For all these things we have Jesus. And He is always enough.

I’m leaving you with a beautiful quote to encourage you by Nancy Cobb and Connie Grisgby :

Do you feel inept, unqualified, or just not up to it? God understands

your feelings, your doubts, your fears. He also knows your heart, and

can work mightily in one that's yielded to Him. You are a diamond--a

diamond in the rough--a diamond in the making. Place yourself in the

hands of the Master Jeweler, Jesus Christ. Allow Him to chisel you, mold

you, and refine you. -Nancy Cobb and Connie Grisgby

New Year, New Prayer, and an Old Devo, Where Does A Mother Go To Resign?

Ending the year with one of my favorite published devotions and a prayer: Lord, I commit to be the best me I can be. I will try to be a kinder, gentler Donna and a more loving person. I want to blaze through this next year to Your glory. Teach me, mold me, make me Your vessel and I will give You all the glory, my Father and my Love.


Where Does A Mother Go To Resign?

They shall not labour in vain,

or bear children for calamity;*

for they shall be offspring blessed by the LORD—

and their descendants as well.  Isaiah: 65:23 NRSV

I love that book title and the woman who wrote it, Barbara Johnson, had an amazing story. She took the pain of life and wrote spiritual and humorous books about it. The first time I heard her speak, I laughed so hard I thought I would have a heart attack. But the hardships and tragedies she went through would also break your heart.

Do you ever feel heartbroken? Got kids? You've probably been there. Of course you love them and they are precious in your sight and the Lord's but sometimes relationships with them can hurt. It can hurt when you try to steer them to help and wholeness and they don't listen. It can hurt when you see them in physical or mental pain. It can hurt when you don't have the resources to help them. It even hurts sometimes, backing off because you know the Lord wants to help them have a stronger relationship with Him, the ultimate parent.
Where does a mother go to resign? To the throne of God where Jesus ever intercedes to the Father for those children that we love.
Prayer: I thank You, Lord that my children were not born for calamity but for peace and blessing. You are the ultimate parent and I leave them with you. Thank You, precious Father that our children are ultimately in your hands. We pray that you bless them and bring them close to you; through Jesus our Savior. Amen

Donna Collins Tinsley

*The Secret Place devotional, Judson Press

Please sign up as a follower of this blog; it would really help me when I go to the Florida Christian Writer’s Conference to have more of a following.



Christmas Comes, Even Though we Grieve

Because of the recent tragedy at Sandy Hook, I am reposting an old Christmas message as well as my new one. Please dwell on the last paragraph of each one and know that you are loved:

The Bleeding Parent

Mary was a young girl at the time she conceived. She learned early what it meant to be a bleeding parent. One of the first prophecies spoken to her was Luke 2:34-35, “Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, His mother, for the fall and rising of many in Israel and for a sign which shall be spoken against (yes, a sword will pierce through your own soul also) that the hearts of many may be revealed.”

Her natural impulse would have been to shelter, nurture and protect her son. We cannot forget that although Jesus was God in human form, He was bone of her bone and flesh of her flesh. Her womb was the first home for the king of kings. Her body pushed him out. With each contraction, His destiny and our salvation drew nearer. She bore pain for Him, that He would bear our pain and sins.

She watched and pondered, not even knowing fully it was He of whom was spoken, “He is a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief. And we hid as it were, our faces from Him. He was despised and we did not esteem Him.”(Isaiah 53:3)

He went from son to Savior as she watched Him dying for her at the cross. We forget sometimes at Christmas, that He was born for the cross. She went from being His mother to being His child as He became a bleeding parent for her.

If your year has not been all you had hoped for, take a moment to remember all the good things in life you have been blessed with. We take for granted things such as eyesight, health, a warm home, food enough to eat and to share. Let praise become a part of your heart.
Donna Collins Tinsley

Black Friday, Reality Shows, Pot Menders and Christmas

Heal me, LORD, and I will be healed;

save me and I will be saved,

for you are the one I praise. Jeremiah 17:14 (NIV)

Black Friday started on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day this year. Bill has started going out with some of our girls and they seem to have a lot of fun. I actually decided to go and take Isaiah for a bit as he felt that he was really missing out on something. It looked like what he was missing out on was wall-to-wall people, stuffed tighter than a Thanksgiving turkey into Wal-Mart. After driving around for 20 minutes looking for a parking place, going in and finding Bill and PJ (our grown-up “adopted son”) I came, I saw, took a few pictures to post and I left. I couldn’t think of anything that would make me want to stand in a line that long. It just isn’t what Christmas is about, is it?

You may be saying right now, “Hey girl, this is Christmas, right? Give me some Christmas joy and cheer; give me a big smile, and let me just go with the material things, the fleeting joy and excesses that Christmas has become in this century, give me the unreality that the “reality” shows portray.”

I want to introduce you to a new word this Christmas and I hope a new way to live. Kintsugi means golden joinery and to me it is a beautiful phrase. We think of the colors of Christmas, the reds, greens, silver and golds and the word Kintsugi (金継ぎ)is the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with a lacquer resin sprinkled with powdered gold.”

I believe that our Savior came to that stable as a baby, grew to be a man, died and gave himself for us, to mend broken pots and broken hearts with gold that is so beautiful that all that look upon them will be amazed.

I may not be able to give each one who reads this a gift, but I can commit to pray for you this year. I pray that pure gold will shine from the cracks that need mending in your life. I pray that any broken heart will be fixed by the Lord in the way that brings glory to Him and healing to you. I pray that you find love enough each day and that you will shine in a unique way, the way that you were intended to live and shine from the foundation of the earth.

I have to borrow a quote that sums up what I feel better than I can: A devo written by Scoti Springfield Domeij says, “Enhanced by the Master’s artisan’s touch a broken pot that normally would have been tossed actually becomes lovelier, more precious, and more valuable that before.” Think on these words this Christmas season. You are lovelier, more precious and more valuable today than you have ever been before. Believe it when you don’t see it, receive it when you feel broken inside, say it when you feel totally parched inside. Shine on and Merry Christmas to all!

Donna Collins Tinsley 2012

Walking in Christmas Shoes even Amidst Sandy Hook Tragedy

This week I posted this on Facebook and had to edit it, as since then a horrible tragedy has occurred with many schoolchildren murdered and a community shattered.


"Walk a mile in My Shoes” is the name of an old song by Joe South. Some of the lyrics say, “If you walk a mile in my shoes, you know how I feel, what makes me hurt, what gives me joy; and I, if I tried your shoes on would I say, “These aren’t so bad? These are nearly pain free, nearly a perfect fit?” But are they?

Have I walked a mile in a widow’s shoes, as she longs for the familiar comfort of the one who used to lie beside her at night? Or a mile in the shoes of someone who has had the health stripped from their body and would give anything to have a portion of the quality of life I enjoy? Have I walked a tenth of a mile in a homeless person’s worn shoes as he endures the scorching heat coming up from the pavement and bathes in the cold water of public restrooms for lack of better? Has my home been demolished by the flooding waters of a hurricane or tornado? Have I lived through losing family as those who are now burying children and loved ones like the families affected by the recent murders at Sandy Hook Elementary? No, I have not but I grieve along with those families and our nation.

"A voice is heard in Ramah, (and now America) weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more." Matthew 2:18

  Christmas coming doesn’t alleviate the normal pains of life that we go through. I know several people that have lost loved ones and I weep for them this Christmas season and pray that they can find peace in the beauty of the season once again. The grief process takes time, and we know it won’t be this Christmas; this is just a fact we can’t get around. The pain will be numbing and constant for a long time. For them we pray.

We celebrate the birth of One qualified to know what it feels like to walk a mile in our shoes. Born lowly, he lived a life of submission to God’s will, and took what should’ve been our walk up a lonely hill to death on a cross. He has walked more than a mile and left a trail of tears; His tears intermingling with mine, we share sorrow, we share love, we share life.

 
Some Christmas’s are painful. When the tears I have cried are stored in His bottle, and I am drained, He becomes my Restorer, my Strength. When I complain, the way is dark, and not what I expected or hoped for; He shows me a new path out of the wilderness. A new path for the world-weary shoes that I wear-- that He wore first.

Donna Collins Tinsley



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoznjbKVnmw